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Original poster

Mum and phone

16 replies

LLHx · 03/04/2026 22:07

Advice regarding phones and my mum.So my son is 6 year old, he occasionally will sleep over at my mums house which I really appreciate. I also have a 2 year old that my mum isn't willing to have over night which is fine, my son loves going there so all good. She gives him her phone - he plays games, watches youtube etc. I have said loads of times I dont really like him having it. A few months ago he manged to spend £100 on a game - obviously he doesnt read and doesnt have regular use so doesnt fully understand how to use phones correctly.. so she has now set up an old phone to give him when he goes there - which i feel is insane. when she had him overnight last my husband bumped into them in our local tesco, my 6 year old was literally walking around tesco playing on 'his' phone!! I am so embarrassed if any of his teachers etc saw him. I mean he is 6. My mother doesn't really do much with him when hes there.. its difficult because we have very limited help with the kids so I always feel awkward to say stuff because we literally have no one else. When he comes home from my mums - he's screaming wanting to bring his phone back here. Hes normally such a loving outdoorsy kid. I cant take it anymore. I sent her a video of how he acts when he comes home and she ignored it. Any advice please. X

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JustGiveMeReason · 03/04/2026 22:15

The only advice is not to leave him with her for more than an hour or so if she isn't capable of looking after him without shoving a phone into his hands.

Lots of us don't have parents who can take a child overnight for them.
You can see that in your case it just isn't worth it.

BendingSpoons · 03/04/2026 22:18

Honestly if this is a deal breaker to you (and I understand if it is) you need to reduce the childcare she offers. She is using the phone as a way to easily entertain him and probably won't easily switch to other activities, particularly now he is likely to whine for it, now he knows it is a 'thing' at her house.

CoffeeAddict443224 · 03/04/2026 22:27

You stop him going there. And if she asks why, you explain his behaviour is worse when he comes home and it's actually no help at all.

In the long term, you also risk granny's house becoming the fun house he can run to when he wants no boundaries. So I'd put a stop to it now.

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mathanxiety · 03/04/2026 22:36

You have to stop the overnights. He's not benefiting. She does nothing with him.

Suck it up and make your family life work. If you want to maintain the connection, invite your mum over to your home or out with you on an outing.

NuffSaidSam · 03/04/2026 22:43

Tbh I'd just let it go. It's not ideal obviously and definitely not as a regular thing, but now and again as a treat at Granny's house...I'd struggle to get so upset that I stopped something that everyone enjoys.

Listlostlast · 03/04/2026 22:46

I feel like the answer is sort of obvious isn’t it? He doesn’t go there for sleepovers anymore or any contact where you’re not there to ensure he isn’t given free rein with a phone. He could be looking at anything.

mindutopia · 04/04/2026 17:27

I wouldn’t be leaving him with her unsupervised going forward. If she can’t muster the effort to interact with him for 2 hours when she otherwise does no parenting, I’d say this gig is just not for her.

Catcatcatcatcat · 04/04/2026 17:31

Stop the overnights

Laiste · 04/04/2026 17:33

Realistically you've got 2 choices.

Stop him going for longer than a couple of hours from now on

or

Suck it up.

In an ideal world you'd speak to your mum and explain till you're red in the face about screen time being bad ect. But we all know she won't stop and it's better not to turn it into a fight.

You don't like the way she 'parents' him when she has him. So don't send him.
(i'm with you by the way)

LittleBearPad · 04/04/2026 17:33

No more sleepovers seems the best plan.

LittleBearPad · 04/04/2026 17:35

He’s cost someone £100 already. That could happen again

He could also be looking at god knows what. Your mother clearly doesn’t understand how to lock down the phone.

WhatAMarvelousTune · 04/04/2026 17:35

He wouldn’t be going anymore if it was me.

arethereanyleftatall · 04/04/2026 17:38

Op, there’s only two options available to you…

  1. No more free childcare available from your mum
  2. he Continues to go and uses the devices
arethereanyleftatall · 04/04/2026 17:40

But I’m not understanding why he needs to go? Where is your 2 year old whilst he’s there? Can’t whoever has your 2 year old also have your 6 year old?

DaisyChain505 · 04/04/2026 17:51

No more sleepovers. If she asks why, be honest.

Tell her that he’s too young to have a phone, it’s not good for him to spend so much time on mind numbing games and it’s effecting his behaviour when he’s returned to you.

Krobus · 04/04/2026 21:26

I wouldn't let her look after him. I never give my kids my phone so I wouldn't want anyone else giving them one especially walking round outside.

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