when a child makes an accusation of physical abuse

[ke1ko]

hi all

I was wondering if anybody could tell me how likely it is that a child would make a false accusation of physical abuse?
more context:
my son had sustained a large bruise on his face when he had gone to relatives house.
they instantly told me that he had run into a door when he had, had a temper tantrum.
the bruise looked like he had been hit, and when we had attended our martial arts class later that day, they had asked josh privately if he was ok.
i had questioned my son as i was still curious about the injury despite what i had been told had happened.
he finally admitted that he had been hit by the boyfriend of the relative that he had stayed with that day
i had questioned the said relative and i had gotten a response that he would NEVER do that, and the other kids love him loads.
my son has also said that this said boyfriend is very physical with the other children in the house as well.
i have discussed this with other family members and they seem dismissive and determined to avoid the situation altogether. including my sons mother.
i had spoken to social services but as they assault had happened over 2 years ago they are unable to do anything.

Im not sure what more you can do if you’ve already raised it with SS. Police? Assaulting a minor? However it goes without saying that the child should never go there again. I’d be concerned about the other kids in the house too. The fact they lied to cover it up shows they know it’s wrong.

You need to believe him and protect him and even if the police aren’t involved you need to ensure he never does there again

I would report it to the police and social services for the sake of the other children

When did this actually happen?

It happened 2 years ago??

Why didn’t you contact the police at the time? If it is true, then you’ve allowed your child to be in contact with a violent man.

2 years ago??
What are you hoping can done now??
Does you child still see this person?

Are you saying that your son has now told you two years later that it was the relative? It sounds unlikely to be a false accusation, they can happen but usually a false accusation would lack clear details or the story would be inconsistent each time it is told, children are generally not good at keeping up lies. Do you have any reason based on your son’s behaviour to suspect he is lying?

I think sw response is disappointing, I’d at least expect them to follow up with an initial assessment about what happened with your son and how the other kids in the house are. I think I’d contact them again and ask to speak to a sw manager. It may be that nothing can be proven but I’d want to check it out more.

as there are a lot of responses i'll answer them all here.

• yes it was 2 years ago. he always swore blind that the injury was due to him running into a door. he's only now opened up about it.
• social services has spoken to the relative and the other kids that live there. they have said that nothing has happened to him or any of the other kids that live there (that is probably obvious. nobody is going to say whats been happening).
• i did not contact the police at the time because said relative and kids swore blind that the injury was my sons fault.
• on research it shows that accusations like this are rarely false. to add to this, the families reaction is to avoid me completely, and leave me out of any functions to avoid having to speak to me in person.
• i dont have any reason to believe my son is lying, especially as he has reported other incidences where the said boyfriends conduct has crossed the line inso abuse.

no one can answer your question it’s really going to be individual.
a toddler in the midst of a temper tantrum might mistake someone grabbing them (preventing them from hurling themselves into traffic) as forcefully hurting them, same with attempting to block an exit or push the child away from a table edge to the head.
no one will know the context 2+ yrs on as to how and why.

Why did you wait two years to talk to him about it or speak to SS?

You say the injury looked like a bruise from being hit. So why would you then assume he could be lying? Does he lie about other things?

What's happened with him and this boyfriend in the 2 years since the potential assault?