Language issues for 3 year old

[Haze26]

I have a 3 and a half year old daughter, she is speech delayed, shes talking in small sentences now but still not at the level of her peers. She attends nursery 5 days a week and is absolutely thriving there.

She has friends and plays well. She was put onto the waiting list for speech & language and here we are 9 months later finally at the top and officially having appointments with a therapist. The first appointment they asked me what my concerns were and loads of detailed questions. He also visited her nursery to observe her there and We have had a second appointment since, I really like the speech therapist, he spent over an hour with us each time and really listened to me and my concerns.

any how I’m rambling abit, my concerns were her pronunciation of words. It’s very hard to understand what she is saying, we her family can understand her quite well but others outside the household rarely can.

He recommended assessment for autism even though she shows no signs. He mentioned she likes to run, jump and climb a lot. And that it could be sensory seeking behaviour. Also he said her eating is quite restrictive (she’s fussy but nothing out of the ordinary for her age I think) and that it could be a sensory issue with food. He said Her back and forth conversation skills are poor and she struggles sometimes with understanding.

An example he gave was when asked how old she was she replied with “my name is…” now she’s never been asked her age before and I’ve never really brought her age to her attention yet.

I don’t know how to feel. A part of me feels like I’m in denial and not seeing the bigger picture and another part of me feels like “professionals always look for tiny little non obvious behaviours to label ‘autism’. I’m not coping well with the unknown and a waiting list of 2-3 years for answers feels impossible for me. She’s a social, friendly loving little girls who is just very active, she may love to jump and climb and run but she also loves to play dress up and play dolls.

Hi, my daughter is autistic.

I really don’t see it from what you’re saying. I mean yes, DD loved a high ropes activity when she was little but it’s not just an autistic thing or Go Ape would have found it hard to make a quid.

Obviously her hearing has been tested, I take it? Does she answer with non-sequiturs for you?

Hi, thank you for responding. Her only issue as I see it is her speech particularly her pronunciation. She has had her hearing checked and all came back fine.
my daughter responds well to change, she gives and maintains eye contact. Responds to her name etc. all the strong typical autistic traits you may see in an autistic individual she doesn’t have.
but he did say she may be very subtle and high masking. Are they capable of masking at this age? I don’t know. But nothing is screaming out concern to me but now he’s brought it up I am now worrying myself silly to the point I can’t really enjoy my child anymore, I find myself observing her constantly, questioning every little thing she does.

Oh and can I ask what non-sequitur means?

How is her muscle tone? You need strong jaw and larynx muscles to articulate proper speech. Kids’ diet often involves soft foods vs hard or crunchy foods you need to bite hard on.
What about screen time? Screens delay speech, even educational apps. Could you cut screens until this is resolved and instead read and sing with her?

I think there is no harm in listening to the professional who sees lots of children, some of whom will be autistic. If she’s assessed as not autistic - nothing is lost. If she’s receives a diagnosis then appropriate assistance can be put in place. If it turns out she has autism, then early diagnosis will be so beneficial to her.

Her muscle tone seems fine I think? She’s higher in percentile for height and weight which has always been the case. She’s quite a strong girl with good balance and co ordination I’ve no idea if that’s an indicator of good muscle tone. And she does watch tv and uses a tablet. But like I said she’s a more on the go kind of child and doesn’t really sit to watch that often. She prefers to be out and active. The reading to her is something we are doing more of as recommended by others.

I completely agree with you. You make very good points I think I’m just being quite selfish and thinking of myself. I’m scared that if she is on the spectrum she’s gonna have a hard life. I’m being ridiculous I know. Like you say nothing is lost if she is assessed and nothing comes of it.

If you google ‘ASQ:SE 42 months’ you’ll be able to see the screening tool that some health professionals use. You should also be able to find the scoring sheet. It’s not perfect by any means - it’s still very skewed towards the classic male presentation. It also isn’t diagnostic. But it can give an indication where there might be social-communication difficulties so it might be worth a look to see if she might have some behaviours or quirks you haven’t noticed.

I agree that you have nothing to lose having the assessment done. She sounds like a bright and social girl who is making leaps in her development, and that is true whether or not she’s autistic. She very well may not get a diagnosis, but always good to have the support in place early if needed.

She really is, she’s a quick learner it’s just language isn’t coming easy for her. I really do worry about her. But I am a very anxious individual and always catastrophise everything.

I’ll have a look at that now, thanks!

@Haze26- there really are only positives to early assessment. She’s too young to take on any perceived stigma. You can put interventions in place to ensure she makes friends and succeeds. There are so many people with a diagnosis of autism who are happy. It’s just a tool to help you understand how her brain may work.

And it may be that nothing comes of it! The label would not change your lovely girl at all, just helps people understand her. My ds has adhd, he’s happy, sociable, doing well at school and is house captain for his house, I truly believe a lot of that is down to us being able to advocate for him early after he was diagnosed, before he started to struggle.

Thank you, I know you’re right. I’ve just heard on the grapevine that support in this country for people on the spectrum is lacking. Someone I used to work with had a son with autism and she told me after he got the diagnosis she left with a leaflet and that was it. But I understand I can’t base anything on one persons experience I guess.
my daughter has already slipped through the net when it has come to other things. And our health visitor actually forgot all about her that’s why it’s only now speech therapy has only just begun

That’s really frustrating about the HV. Have the SALT sessions been helpful? I think that short sentences at three is hugely encouraging. She’s still so young and lots of kids have speech delays at that age.

A statement that does not seem to have anything to do with what was being talked about.

They have been kind of, he’s more just information gathering at this point he hasn’t worked with my daughter on anything yet. I feel like everytime I’m positive about something such as “oh she’s doing really good, she can do this, this & this” someone then picks up the things she’s not quite saying and doing. My daughter is a very hyper child but she is confident & happy. She doesn’t elope she runs for sure my girl can run! But she’s never far and always looking back. She also has good recall (seems I’m talking about dog here) she doesn’t stim that I’ve noticed. And she’s been a great sleeper since birth. It’s all very confusing.