Not going to Preschool straight to school

[lisa270988]

I want a bit advice and other people opinions. My little was 4 in December and due to start school in September. He hasn't been anywhere preschool or nursery yet I have tried 4 times and he just hasn't settled and hated it! I got tge chance to send him again after the Easter hoildays just for 1 term. A part of me thinks it will be good but then another part of me thinks it isn't worth it just for a short time! As he will just get settled then have to leave! And I feel it may be better for me to just carry on how I am and work very hard myself and getting him ready for school myself? I also have a few concerns over his hearing which is being looked into now. I.also do worry that he maybe autistic which I feel needs looking into.
What would everyone do

Does he spend time in other group situations where ge has to follow the rules of the group, like a preschool sport class or a playgroup (with you there as well)

Is the preschool attached to the school he will attend?

I think it's worth it if there are other children that will be going up to the same school with him, having some familiar faces could help him settle. I also have a suspected ASD four year old starting in September so have the same worries!

Yea we go to a lot of toddler groups

No x

If it’s not attached, I probably wouldn’t bother.

my fourth was like this, took so long to settle it was time to go to school. Did all that settling help? Nope. We then had to do it all again.

it might be worth discussing with the school though. Do they have settle days before summer? Or look around days. Focus on those.

If the pre school is attached to the school I would go for it and persevere. Better to get him used to it now than him struggling in Sept. And if he needs an EHCP better to get the ball rolling on that now. My DS really struggled in reception so spent lots of time outside of the classroom and everything builds on everything else so it took him years to catch up.

No its not attached

What transition does the school do? If it's full time from day 1 and he hasn't done pre-school, I'd definitely speak to the school about this and consider whether he could have a phased start.

Does the school have an attached nursery? I would think that would be a better place to send him rather than a completely unrelated preschool.

My worry would be that if he isn't used to attending any settings without you present he will find that a big challenge to go somewhere independent of you in September?

I would echo the advise to see if there's any way he can go to the preschool attached to his future school (if there is one, of course!). That way the settling in preschool with hopefully more directly help with the settling in school.

If you're concerned about autism, have you had a developmental review by your health visitor to hopefully start that process?

Does he do any activities without you being part of the activity? Swimming or football or a music class or anything where you are just watching from a distance (or preferably out of sight altogether)? If not, that might be something else to try, to help him start to learn how to be part of a group doing a common activity without you/dad/granny there as well, but on a smaller scale than preschool, and hopefully focused on something he likes!

Are there children from the preschool who will attend school with him? Does he have friends he sees regularly? Will his friends be going to school with him? Do you leave him with family for short periods? Does he go to play dates with friends where you can leave him with a trusted adult?

It’s practice socialising and doing self care that he needs. So not playgroups, but enduring friendships, including ones with children who will be going to school with him. Ideally a preschool will also support the transition to school. There are usually lots of settling in days during the summer term, often preschool if local, will walk them or drive them to the school for some transition activities. For the above reasons, nursery or preschool is really beneficial.

I’d also also make sure he can do the necessary self-care. Can he use the toilet and wash his hands independently? Serve himself lunch or get his packed lunch out, eat and pack it away? Get dressed for PE and back into school uniform? Put his coat and shoes on?