Was it unreasonable to ask grandparents to limit our four-year-old's screen time?

[BeatletteForever]

Just a vent and wondering if I was in the wrong or my dad?
Both me and my DH had work so we asked my parents if they could look after our 4yo ds which they agreed to.
They tend to do the majority of babysitting as my mil has ms and can't look after him by herself and fil works full time and cares for her when he's not working.
DS came home happy but then wanted to watch something. I asked if he'd watched anything earlier, as we try to limit screen time.
He said yes that he watched something before lunch and then after lunch until DH picked him up. Which would have worked out of about 3-4 hrs worth. So I said no and he started crying and getting very worked up. So we phoned my brother to double check. My dad answered and said that was correct. My DH spoke to brother and basically said we try to limit screen time so try not to make this a habit. My dad took over the call and said my brother was upset (brother is autistic) and said we did you a favour looking after ds, you can't put parameters and what we can do when he's with us, and if you don't like it you can get someone else to look after him.
I asked to speak to my brother and said we weren't upset or angry with him, but wanted to check ds was telling us an accurate story. And just try not to give him more than 2 hrs screen time a day. Brother was ok with this. But dad got back on the phone and repeated above.

Are we wrong not to want too much screen time? Especially as it was a nice day and could have had some outdoor play? Or did my dad overreact?

If you don’t like how they care for him, you need to find and pay for other carers.

Best of luck with that no doubt they’ll be polite and suck it up as they won’t want you taking DS away from them

but no matter what they say it definitely won’t be forgotten the damage is done

How often do they look after him?
Does he attend nursery or preschool?

You are not being unreasonable, they are 4 they don't need to be sat Infront of a screen for hours.

I would feel the same, there are a million and one things to do with a 4 year old that doesn't involve screens and it can have such a negative effect like you said they came home wanting more, plus they are less likely to entertain themselves/ have less imagination etc

Yes YABU.

Im not surprised they were pissed off, the only thing you say to family or friends offering free childcare is thankyou.

He's in preschool from 9:15 to 3:00. They look after time Thursday for about hour after school. And Friday ab hour before and hour after school.

Thank you for all the replies. I always forget with posting things on forums that no one knows the whole story.
I have a slightly strained relationship with my dad, so do my mum and brother (long story).
I don't want them to stop looking after lo as I want him to have a good relationship with them. And I don't want to mum and brother to miss out just because of my dad.
I just find it hard that whenever I try to bring something up (not necessarily childcare) he has a go at me (or whoever).
I chatted to my husband and he's going to apologise to my brother. It's a case we were all tired, lo was having a meltdown and we just wanted to check the stories matched.

Smart phones and fast paced digital content are not advisable but there is nothing wrong with a bit of telly time.

I used to have CBeebies on virtually 24/7 and my DC were still readers, high flyers and loved playing outdoors. Sometimes, older people haven’t got the energy for running around and just need to keep your child safe, warm and loved. My adult children still talk fondly of all the films they would watch with their grandparents.

Pick your battles op.

This.
Why did you phone to check?! That’s the odd bit. Just parent your kid in your own house and say no more screen time.

You’re massively overthinking and reacting to this and being very unreasonable.

For future reference - a good approach to screen time decisions is the child at the time. Not a careful log of how much has been watched so far that day.