Really struggling with potty/ toilet training. My son is 3.5 please help!

[Biosblbay]

So we started to potty/ toilet train when my son was around 2.5 but he would scream if we sat him on any potty, any toilet, with or without a smaller seat, we even tried a dinosaur potty as he loves dinosaurs and nothing. As I had just had a baby a lady at the pre school told me to just stop due to being so sleep deprived with a new born and she said waiting until he was 3 wouldn’t be an issue. So we started again a week before the Easter holidays at his preschool and what a nightmare! Although he now sits on the toilet no problems, he doesn’t let go of his wee at all. He was holding it all day at nursery and then wetting himself when he got home. I was so paranoid of him getting a UTI, so I said to them maybe we wait until the Easter holidays when he is off, I am off work and can focus on the toilet training more and hoping he would be more comfortable at home, but yesterday he held his wee 8am to 4:30pm! In the end I had to put a pull up back on him just because I was so worried.

I have tried everything, bribery with toys and chocolate, blowing bubbles on the toilet, letting him on his tablet to play some games, counting, me showing him how I do it, trying to make it fun but nothing works. It’s ended up me sitting on the bathroom floor for half an hour every time waiting and nothing for a whole day!

I am stuck at this point and have no clue on what to even do. Any ideas or suggestions please send them my way! Thank you.

Has he seen you and his Dad using the toilet? Just so he knows it’s what people do.

@Senmum2026 already tried this as mentioned in my post. Honestly I have tried everything that I can think of. I am just out of ideas now :(

Oh Crap method/book. Don’t use bribery - it’s a basic human function, it’s not needed. Don’t make them drink more than usual, it interferes with their ability to hold it. Don’t sit then on the potty at intervals, it interferes with their ability to know when they need to go. Keep him completely bottomless and fully at home until he has got the knack. Then move on to loose joggers only. Only then move onto underwear. Only then move on to trips outside. Move back a stage if he hasn’t mastered the next. Pull up at night – night training is a different skill.

Extremely unlikely he will get a UTI. Many kids hold for a long time during potty training.

I think going back to nappies confused him. Take them off. He won't get a UTI after one day.

I followed the oh crap method too. The stages were easy to follow. It’ll be 2 years this summer since I ditched nappies (apart from night) for my now nearly 4yo. It’s still part of my day to day thinking. A really really good day is all slight accidents that finish in the potty/toilet and don’t turn in to a tantrum. Honestly the best thing I’ve done is just decided to be more relaxed about it all myself. No pressure, no reminding, just lots of casual modelling. A good carpet cleaner nearby too! It’s easy to get hung up on trying to prevent mess but I keep reminding myself one day this won’t be a thing.