Feeling flat and overwhelmed lately - five month old baby.

[maria199]

My daughter is just a little over 5 months old and she is my first baby. This past week or so I have been feeling in a bit of a ‘slump’ with everything and I’m not quite sure why.

My baby girl was very colicky for the first 3.5 months of life, all she did was cry and eat (she didn’t sleep much). Then she suddenly turned a corner and has been such a lovely, happy baby. The past week or so she has been getting very frustrated and irritable. I think it’s a mix of not being able to crawl yet (she is trying) and her teeth bothering her, although none appearing yet! She can be super happy and smiley in one breath and then the next she is crying. But it’s not really a sad cry, more a whiny, angry cry. I’ve been finding it really tough to deal with and it’s bringing back the memories of her when she just cried non stop for 3 months straight.

As well as this, I am finding she’s in a difficult stage when it comes to doing things. She’s still quite small to enjoy things like going to see animals, soft play etc, but she needs constant entertaining. I go out for several walks every day and where possible I go for little day trips out to places, but as I said she is still a little too young to enjoy this.

I just feel a little flat. When you are pregnant it is so exciting and every week you are getting closer to meeting your baby. Then you are in your ‘newborn bubble’ with people constantly checking how you are, visiting etc. For me it has been so lovely to then get out of the colicky stage for a while, but now I am met with this frustration phase I am finding everything quite overwhelming.

I have several friends and family members with babies similar ages and I try and get myself out of the house doing things every day, with other people or just us two. I also go to a baby class every Wednesday. I feel a little like it’s ‘groundhog day’ and I know this is how life is with a baby but for some reason at the moment it is just really getting me down. I have been fine with all of this until really recently.

I guess I am also met with the reminder that my baby is growing so rapidly and I am stuck in a constant state of battle of being sad she isn’t so little and also excited to watch her grow and thrive.

I live in the UK and the weather is getting better but still isn’t nice enough to be outside all day (sometimes it is still very wintery!). I have also recently got back from our first little trip away to Spain which was wonderful, but I don’t know if I am now feeling flat that something I was looking forward to is now over?

Is this a common thing around 5 months old? Some hormonal changes or something? Has anyone else gone through this feeling.

I want to add that I love my daughter with all of my heart and I am enjoying the time I am having with her mostly. Just the past week or two I haven’t been able to shift this feeling.

Sorry for the long post - I suppose I am just trying to vent a little.

Are you breastfeeding? Around this age my baby started sleeping better, my period came back and I got the weaning blues even though I was still breastfeeding multiple times a day (I didn't get a weaning hormone crash when I did actually stop, so at least I only had to experience it once).

Can you find any other baby groups to go to, just to give you something to go out to more days of the week? I also went to baby cinema.

I am breastfeeding yes! Haven’t really started weaning yet, she is just trying tiny bits of things here and there.

The issue is with more groups is I can’t really afford another one. I have tried a couple of free groups around me and they were nice, but they fall on a day where my mother-in-law usually comes to see the baby so I feel I can’t go as much as I like.

i have also looked into baby cinema but it doesn’t seem to show in my area! 😔

Weaning blues is when the baby weans off breast milk rather than on to solids (though the two sometimes go together).

Sorry there aren't that many baby groups, I went to council run and church hall stay and play sessions and rhyme time at the library, some were free and others were £2. I'm lucky to live somewhere pretty urban so quite a lot of choice nearby. Even if baby couldn't really join in at stay and play, it was good to see other adults.

Do buggy fit or mum and baby yoga Pilates my boy loved it and that age they are so entertained by all the mummies moving around! Also baby massage classes. Song a rhyme time at libraries and children centres if you have theme

I felt exactly like this around the 5-6 month mark. My first born was also very similar - colicky for the first 3 months, settled a bit, but then became quite highly strung and not the sort of baby to sit happily in their bouncer watching the world go by. Wanted ++ stimulation and was very unhappy until they were on the move.

I think, for me personally, the adrenaline and excitement had entirely gone and I was left crushingly tired (DC1 was not a good sleeper and was not in anything approaching a routine by 5 months) . I was both overstimulated and bored IYKWIM.

It did get better. Around 8-9 months DC1 solidified onto 2 distinct naps and 3 meals and the days felt more structured and predictable and hence went faster. Crawling and then walking were total game changers, DC1 became much happier and I started really enjoying my time with him.

Are you going back to work?

I think parenting babies is just very up and down. The experience is not linear. It doesn't go from super hard to easy in a straight line.

You have peaks and lows and the lows are not just about the screaming or the lack of sleep. You also at some point realize this is your new reality- tied to a 7pm bedtime for YEARS, not being able to do stuff you want, your body is not the same, your friendships are not the same, groundhog day every day.

I found the newborn days were about survival, the new reality only hit me much later.

There's lots of lovely bits but a lot of it is just drudgery and routine. With time you'll adjust and see the good bits.

There's lots of reasons why most women stop after 1 or 2 kids. It's not just finances, the baby/toddler stage is really pretty fucking hard.

And different phases are different for everyone, 5-7 months was my absolute favourite, I was in heaven. But some love the crawling the stage, some love the newborn days etc.

I also have a “moody” five month old. She is also super frustrated by not quite being able to crawl and clearly teething pain.

Teethers, a variety of textures and shapes, are really helping. A good distraction and soothing the pain a bit.

I felt exactly like this at 4-6 months with DS. Not helpful now but I found it much better once he could sit.

For me, the adrenaline wore off about then, and I was recovered enough to be bored and lonely. I went back to work 2 days a week which was a sanity saver. Baby went to daycare one day and stayed with dad the other. I've been gradually building up to 4 days now that he's one.

It is a funny age. Not a newborn anymore but not quite weaning, not quite moving, not quite able to get much out of a day out or activity. Getting big for the pram and crib. The colic and lack of sleep in the early months with my oldest traumatised me and I an still sometimes very afraid of not getting enough sleep but it has never been anywhere near that bad since those early weeks. Hormones will be a factor too. Keep seeing friends especially with babies and get some plans in the diary. You'll be in another stage soon and yes time does pass quickly but there are plenty of new fun stages along the way. My favourites have been turning three and going to pre-school and turning eight and being able to do more grown up stuff. I have one turning 11 and going to senior school and it is is very exciting to see her blossoming and taking the next step (she was the colicky one!).

I found that age very hard, mine got tired but refused to nap, and was generally very bored. Got easier when she could sit up. But it’s constantly up and down! No advice really; just hang in there and try and find things to do thst you enjoy. I will fully admit my mental health improved massively when I went back to work about 10 months; being a full time parent wasnt for me.

Op I felt the same as you and still do sometimes, just don’t feel guilty for feeling how you do. Being a mum is mixed emotions and the more I talk to people the more normal I think that is. Temperament of the baby is also key, there will be ups and downs, and in between, just take it one day at a time. You seem to be doing all the right things. Maybe try the peanut app, to make some new mum friends.