Wwyd with this bedroom situation?

[sharkstale]

So, firstly, I am a single parent. I think that's relevant as there's no partner to think of with respects to getting our bed back etc.
I have 2 children, a 9 year old and a 1 year old. We're in a 2 bed house. 2 good sized bedrooms.
I've always bed shared with my 1 year old, combination of breastfeeding and him not sleeping well in the cot, so I eventually got rid of it and moved him into my bed full time. I don't mind him being in my bed at all, but he's now 14 months and I feel a bit guilty that he doesn't have his own room, own bed, and own space for his things. He's been a terrible sleeper much of his life, although that's greatly improving. I wonder if it's time to move him into his own bed now, however, he does not have one!! We may move in the future, but it wouldn't be for a couple of years, and my daughter is very settled where we are so currently I don't want to change that for her. So I'm in a quandary with that one at the moment, making it harder to decide what to do re my son.

I feel like my options currently are

A) leave the situation as it is with toddler in my bed for the time being and revisit this decision in the future

B) move toddler into my daughter's room to share. Temporarily split the room with kallax units until we know what the future holds.

C) swap the bedrooms around as my bedroom has 2 windows and go the whole hog with partitioning it off properly. Only issue with that is that it's a lot of work if we do end up moving and I'm housing association so I'm probably not allowed to.

D) swap the bedrooms around and split using kallax units.

My daughter's room is a very good size, however, she has so much stuff, I've no idea how we'd condense it to a room half the size.

I've been trying to decide what to do for a while now, and I absolutely cannot figure out what to do for the best.

What would you do?

Talk to the Housing Association about option C.
Continue to share with baby, but move him to a cot bed.

I’d buy a toddler bed (or a single if it will fit) for your room for now as a toddler only really uses a bedroom for sleeping. In a few years reconsider your options and either move or divide a room up.

I would speak to the HA about option C. If not, try option D when he's ready. But that might not work if he is not a good sleeper. I would also look at how much stuff you have. Could some of it be let go?

Id also put in toddler bed in your room for now. My 3 year old gets in my bed will make it easier for him and you if its right there also easier for settling him. Also bedtimes will be easier if not in same room neither will have to be quiet to not wake the other

What's the downstairs layout, are you able to create a bedroom corner for yourself or is it open plan?

Thank you for the replies so far. I'll get him his own bed in my room for now! I should have added that as option E as it's also something I've been considering.

@Els1ehe was an awful sleeper previously, waking every half hour/hour, but that's improved massively recently. Sometimes he won't have had a wake up at all until I get into bed with him, so I think it's knowing I'm there and he wakes for a comfort feed. I won't know for sure though until he's in his own bed, but there's a chance if he's not with me, he may even sleep through. I hope 😅
I would love to get rid of some stuff, my daughter would take a lot more convincing 😂

@

@SanctiMoaniArseit's not open plan but I wouldn't be able to make myself a room downstairs. That just wouldn't work unfortunately

I’m in a HA property and they were fine with me partitioning the larger bedroom as the waiting list for a larger house was endless. They even rehung a door on the opposite side to make the space work.
The idea of both children sharing was fine initially (there’s a similar age gap between mine) but as one hit teens and the other began messing with their things, the novelty wore off pretty fast.

I’d keep in your bed for a good while longer. I don’t see the point of a toddler bed in your room.

Could you put a kallax up in your room, with a bed for your toddler at one side, you on the other. Then there’s a little space of his own. I mean, they don’t need their own room at that age, but having a little space with toys etc. somewhere to do a bedtime story etc. Then see where you’re at in a year or so.

That's really good to know as I didn't think they'd approve it. I could speak to them this week and find out, even if I don't plan to do it just yet, at least I'd know what my options are.
Yes exactly, my daughter thinks it's a cute idea now, but I can guarantee she won't feel the same when she's a teenager 😂

I had this issue although second child much older than toddler: I moved downstairs, bought an excellent sofabed.

Not sure I’d do that for a toddler however, esp if it might disturb hard won sleep!

That's actually a cute idea. I know he doesn't need his own room yet, but I feel like he deserves a little space that he knows is his, with his own bits in. I like this idea.

I am pretty sure that I did it and then spoken to them afterwards!
I was just told that they would expect me to put it back if I ever moved out.
I presented it as a practical solution by responsible tenant.

This was going to be my next suggestion if downstairs wasn't a possibility! Turn one corner of your room into "his room" - you can put posters up or paint him a mural, get a nice rug, have a toy basket etc. Use a big kallax to partition it off.

I definitely wouldn't bank on it working for the DC to share. It will rapidly become unworkable as your DD gets into her teens.

Or the moment he starts grabbing her stuff?

I would keep toddler in your room for now, I had mine in with me till she was 2.5 and it wasn’t a problem. All her toys were downstairs.

I'm going to do this! I love the idea and being able to put little pictures up etc and decorate an area for him.

I know it absolutely won't work with them sharing when she's a teen. We will be moving before then when my daughter finishes primary, atm her whole life is here and I really don't want to uproot that.

have you contacted your Housing Association for advice and suggestions about opposite sex children sharing? Once your daughter is over 10 you may be able to put your name down on a waiting list for a 3 bed property (though the waiting list may be long), but it may strengthen your case about permission for dividing the larger of the two rooms if not, or in the meantime.

I think you need to do C or D (though Kallax isn't the only option) - moving your youngest into his own bed will be easier now than later. Your DD needs to do a proper audit of her stuff - no child can actually get benefit from that quantity of things, there aren't enough leisure hours in the year. A lot of it is stuff she used to enjoy playing with when younger and now only keeps for sentimental reasons but encourage her to take joy in passing it on to a younger child who will enjoy it again just as much

I've not spoken to the HA but have spoken to the council and will be on the list when she turns 10, I'm estimating a 1-2 year wait from then so by the time she starts secondary school we should hopefully be moved.