How can I return to work with a 17 month old and childcare costs?

[Blossom19842]

Hello
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I need some advice. No judgement or harsh comments please just advice. I have a beautiful 17 month old baby girl, I got fired from my last job not long after her 1st birthday and since then me and my partner have got by on his wages and universal credit. Due to his wages being high we only get £380 a month universal credit which I am grateful for but even with his wages me and my partner are struggling due to cost of living and debt. I know I need to get a job but I'm confused on how to fund childcare or any help for childcare we would get. I would love a work from home job to work in evening or overnight but due to my partners shift pattern which is 6am to 2pm one week,then 2pm till 10pm the next week and then 10pm to 6am the following week this wouldn't really work with him being able to look after her. Also baby girl still wakes a lot in the night at random times but sometimes when she wakes she could be awake for 2 hours. Also she only settles with me,she won't settle for her dad and I don't think she would settle for anyone else. I would like a job that causes the least disruption to me looking after baby girl, I know every mother would and that would only happen in an ideal world but I was hoping that there was some ideas that anyone had to do this type of job. I'm really asking what sort of hours other mothers work, what jobs they do, if anyone has term time only jobs that still help them financially. For example I was thinking of getting a term time only school cleaning job,would this work? How could I get childcare for those sort of roles and also does anyone else have a child that has never been looked after by anyone other then the mum and how did you cope with putting the child in childcare? I want to work to take some of the burden of my partner and to also be better of financially but I don't know how it would work out.
Thank you

Hobestly it’s not always economical, more for keeping your career going. We were just under 26k a year in childcare for 4 days including sibling discount. We used tax free childcare scheme ‘saving’ 4k a year taking the actual amount to £21,833. At the time I earned £36k and the ‘leftover’ after tax etc was around £500 a month after travel to work.

That's what I'm worried about,that it doesn't even work out money wise. I don't have a career I just want a small part time job to help money matters but don't know if it will make us worse off in the long run

When my son was little, I trained to be a childminder and looked after a friend’s baby. It meant I could stay at home with my son and earn about £1000 a month.

Could you use the time to go to college? You could be entitled to help with childcare and still retain the universal credit as you have a dependent - you would need to clarify as courses vary.
I know you wouldn’t necessarily be better off but it would benefit you in the long run.

Are you entitled to tax free childcare and the funded hours? These help. When I went back with my first my salary was pretty much wiped out by childcare, it was about £50 a month profit. However it meant I kept my hand in, kept up my pension contributions and I was then able to move into a position that paid more.

Could you do house cleaning? My cleaner started when her youngest went to school. She doesn't work during school holidays as she doesn't have childcare.

If you find clients that can be flexible you could work around your partner's hours.

I work two days a week. If you use the funded childcare over the whole year rather than term time it works out around 22 hours. Most nurseries do 10 hour days ( you don't have to have your child there the full 10 hours but they charge you for ten) so it's two days a week. If I work any more than that I end up worse off.

My son was looked after by me and grandparents until he was two. It took slightly longer to settle properly. Around 3 months but now he loves nursery and asks to go more days. Which he can't because it will bankrupt me haha

I do nursery 2 days a week in office (hybrid), so 2 long days, then long day on DH day off, then unfortunatly its a 5am top up from home before little ones wake then anything left over 10pm at night 😂

The starting months we took a hit and had less income than one wage and benefit top up and now break even.
But in my mind, re-entering workplace later would be harder and i wouldn't have my role/career. So wouldnt have the potential future income if i stopped and two, i wanted to get my pension going and 3. I wanted to buy a house..far more likely salaried than UC.

I'm hoping as the little ones get older the full on push and this period of juggling will be worth it and i will be glad i carried on.

Thank you for all your replies. I have been thinking of college or even online courses to stretch my brain 😁 I have level 2 in business and administration and customer service from doing these courses before.
A role as a house cleaner is something I have seriously considered especially if they are flexible shifts. I worry a lot about childcare as it's only ever been me that has looked after baby and I have seen some pretty dodgy child minders when iv been to baby groups although I do know they aren't all like that. How would I go about training as a child minder? I think I do qualify for the tax free childcare but would need to double check.
I would like a role as a school cleaner as it's term time only but the hours iv seen are 3.30pm till 6pm which would work for me if I could get childcare and also for baby to be settled in childcare and also if they fed her dinner which she usually has between 4.30pm and 5pm if she eats, she's also a fussy eater 🤦

High earners don’t get universal credit, do they?

Also she only settles with me,she won't settle for her dad and I don't think she would settle for anyone else.

This is not something to ignore. Anything could happen to you, and it isn’t that she can’t settle for anyone else, you just haven’t enabled that.

I would like a job that causes the least disruption to me looking after baby girl, I know every mother would and that would only happen in an ideal world but I was hoping that there was some ideas that anyone had to do this type of job. I'm really asking what sort of hours other mothers work, what jobs they do

I had DD with a DH who understood how important my career was and wanted children more than me. We are both high earners (properly). He worked away for 18 months, and I worked around that, but when he came back he picked up the reins and could parent equally as well, if not better, than I could. I’ve never worked less than full time and have done roles which are, at times of crisis, 70+ hours a week affairs. I never wanted DD to imagine that her role was to focus on domestics as men are the ones that get to work.

Umpteen threads a day are from women now stymied by having given up work or stopped their career development so that a man could look after them. It is a tough job market so something is going to have to give.

Look into the funded hours, if term time only then it’s 30 hours per week. It’s not completely free as you would need to pay for extras, but takes a large chunk off. If you use a childminder it’s often cheaper than nursery.

What sort of role do you do for 2 days a week poodleeatingnoodle? Aslo what is your role asthecrowflies89? I know it would be hard with topping up hours if needed but I'm willing to try. For instance I have seen a cleaning role for sainsburys for 5am to 10pm 5 days a week with Sunday off, I would give it a go but don't think I could find any childcare to cover those hours. I know I'm daft for worrying about putting my child into childcare too, I know it has to be done but it does worry me but I also want to be better off financially for her too. She is my 4th but there is a 16 year age gap so the older ones are even to busy to help look after her and only only one of the older ones lives at home, he is brilliant with baby for short spells of looking after her but can't cope with her when she cries or has a meltdown

Ittook9years, thank you for your comment and I do understand where you are coming from but also it isn't a case of me not enabling baby to settle with anyone else. As I have explained I have older children yea but they aren't great babysitters. Also I don't have a "village" to help with baby. I know a lot of other people don't either however my mother is dead, so are my grandparents, my dad is a cancer survivor and my sister lives miles away, my partners family live a 6 hour drive away, there isn't a close family circle to help

Just wanted to add something that hasn’t been mentioned. As you are on UC, when you do secure childcare in order to start a new job (and can evidence job offer and childcare place), you can apply for a discretionary fund to cover the first months childcare fees from your local job centre. It’s a grant so you do not have to repay this, and you can still claim back for it from UC (as UC payments are always in arrears, it helps having that upfront cost paid for).
I would also suggest that you do not consider a role that you don’t know how you’ll get childcare cover for. Don’t be so desperate for work that you go into a job you cannot sustain, as if it doesn’t work out and you end up leaving that employment, you may no longer be eligible for help from UC for childcare costs, which could mean you can’t afford to keep the childcare going and lose your child’s place there. Be realistic and think long term before accepting a job role, it has to fit your family life. You have to be in active employment to receive help with childcare costs from UC.
Would you consider using your current qualifications and doing into some sort of admin work. If you play it right, you can really grow your income in admin work as you progress/job change over a few years. It’s also easier to negotiate a flexible working request within office work, even at interview stage.

I would also consider admin work, I think I need to tweak my CV a bit as any admin roles I have applied for in the past haven't got back to me or maybe I wasn't suitable 😕 I have done admin roles in the past too so do have some experience

She won’t settle for her father. That is really the bare minimum.

I started in Admin initially then trained into tech department as i increased hours.

Topping up isnt too bad if your partner/dh steps in, its more just exhasting if little one doesnt sleep, then working when they finally do, so theres been some development stages where you end up pulling all nighters 😅

Might be good to start small then increase hours once you know what works for your family. It all depends on the employer though, some are really supportive and flexible, some not so much.

It’s really straightforward, we paid for childcare. At that age, your best bet is a normal year round job because year round childcare will be easy to find. It means you don’t lose money like you would working term time only.

For the first couple years, my salary only covered nursery. I earned £1300 a month and nursery costs us £1200. But it was well worth it. When I went back to work after my 2nd mat leave, my salary had doubled. And then it tripled. Because I put in that time when I wasn’t really making much. We got no benefits as I’m an immigrant, so I make both Dh and I ineligible for any benefits. We also had no family help. If you have family who could help a day or two a week, that may take some of the pressure off. But really it was just paying for childcare and getting to work.

I don’t know what your career was before having her but if you’re struggling for money then almost any job would help.

look into tax free childcare
also consider that if you’re working more than 16 hours a week you get 30 hours of free childcare. It’s term time only so over the year is actually 22.5 a week.

You could look at school TA jobs that are term time only or any other part time work and wouldn’t have to pay anything if she was in nursery less than 22.5 hours a week.

I worked full tIme from when my baby was 9 months. You don’t necessarily make a profit during those years but you keep
your pension and career. Remember childcare is not the woman’s to pay for - the costs are split pro-rata according to earnings with your husband. Otherwise he gets money while you provide unpaid labour and get no pension, which is not where we want to be in the 2020s.

If you are not married, absolutely make sure you’re in work, otherwise you are very vulnerable if you split. If you are married, then of course you are a bit more protected and entitled to some of his pension and the house if you split.