I have three children, oldest is 8.
Both at school and at gymnastics class (attends twice a week), there is another child who is quite spirited, and is often being challenged on behaviour towards others - stamping on feet, biting, hitting, pulling hair, and unkind words. I like the mum to chat to but she is very passive.
Over the past 6 months this child seems almost fixated on mine. They come out of gym and the child says 'Belle hit me/ Belle was nasty to me' - when I've spoken to the instructors they tell me no, that didn't happen, and it was the other way round. At school it's the same although fortunately they're in different classes. She is more physical towards other children though - she just says things towards my daughter rather than anything physical at school.
My child's issue is she continues to try and be friends with this other child, which I keep trying to explain is mixed messages - if you left her, she might get the impression that her behaviour isn't working.
The mum says to me that her child has 'big feelings'/ needs nurturing/ hasn't yet learnt empathy etc. Last week I collected from gym and could hear her daughter going 'Everyone hates Belle, Belle is horrible, she has no friends'- her mum said nothing and my daughter was upset. I didn't know what to say as I find the line between discipling another child and ignoring it a difficult one to tread, but I'm not sure what I'm teaching my own daughter by not actually saying something.
The final straw is that she has now shown up at dance lessons and brownies - there is now 1 day a week where my daughter is not with this girl and I'm not sure what my best course of action is. I can't change someone else's child's behaviour but I need to change the way I'm teaching my daughter to deal with it, and modelling more assertive behaviour to her as well.
Any advice gratefully received