Are all 3YO like this??

[jamcorrosion]

Oh my god are three year olds all like this?!?

My son is 3, and I love him to pieces. He’s gorgeous kind hilarious etc etc like we all feel about them.

He was a really easy baby so it’s a shock to the system. He’s generally great, helpful kind and funny and lovely to be around obviously has his moments too. But recently at bedtime and mornings he’s like the devil! The tantrums and meltdowns and delay tactics and ignorance are driving me mad. He always end up not going sleep till ages later than he should - then is tired in the morning and refuses to get ready for nursery without a fight. Both times of day are awful, chaotic, dramatic, negative, upsetting and overwhelming probably for both of us!! Gets worse as the week goes on and the tiredness increases. I’m out of ideas, we end up so late in a mornin no matter how early we get up and bedtime asleep so late no matter how early I take him up.

Has anyone had similar and has any advice at all?! I’ve tried allsorts and I’m stuck. Leaves us both feeling rubbish and worst way to start or end the day.

HELP!

I was so smug when DS1 sailed through the “terrible 2s”, then he turned 3 and all hell broke loose. All I can suggest is stay consistent, end every day with cuddles and take the mantra “tomorrow is another day” to heart. If you can hand over to someone else take some time out for yourself, it definitely saved my sanity going for a half hour walk when DH got home in the middle of the witching hour. DS1 totally outgrew the tantrums by the time he turned 4 and reverted to being the sweet albeit lively little boy he had been. I was better prepared second time round but luckily DS2’s threenager phase didn’t last long and bizarrely enough DD never went through it. Good luck!

I would hope that fixing bedtimes will also fix the morning issues - so for me, my focus would be on that.

Personally, I'd be increasing physical exhaustion before bedtime, and increasing the wind-down time. Maybe try adding an extra hour of physical exercise in the day, possibly in the evening. I certainly found that the days when my son was really physically tired, he slept so much easier. An evening walk? Trip to a park in the evening? 30 minutes of crazy dancing in the living room? Big wrestle/play-fight? Etc. something to physically tire him out between dinner + bed.

Then I would couple that with extending the bed-time routine, probably by adding more books/reading.. especially books that don't have pictures. We found, doing a few picture books to start, but swapping to a book without pictures worked well because there is nothing to look at, so they can just lay down. Much more easy to induce tiredness than lots of bright and exciting pictures. Type of book can also help - More old-fashioned calm books induce sleep much better than crazy colourful exciting books.

Not sure if those will work, I'm sure they won't on every kid. But they worked well for us.

Thankyou!! I’m a single parent so can’t hand over unfortunately. I’ve started a reward chart which seems to have made a difference! But I think the difference is that he had a loose poo so could t go nursery for 48 hours so we had a chance to reset despite how hard it is wfh with him here. Happy to hear im not the only one!!

Yes I agree bedtime fix will fix the morning.

when you mentioned extra physical stuff - he’s absolutely shattered in the first place so not sure he needs to be tired out as he already is! Or do you mean to break the cycle? We already do dance parties in the living room

At bedtime we do a bath then pjs, back downstairs for a drink and ten mins tv, then bed and a story. The reward chart has made a massive difference but nothing he does comes across as needs it’s all delay tactics. And when you mentioned doing things before bedtime I honestly don’t know how to find the time, I’m a single parent so I finish work at 5 hrs picked up from nursery by 5.30 I want him upstairs latest 7.30 and it’s so hard to get home fed bathed actually spend time together and in bed for 7.30.

Every day I feel like I’m against the clock to make sure he has enough sleep but then he never does cause he delays so much. Suppose it’s a sign of the times too it’s sad and I feel so guilty