Found lots of women's clothes in son's room

[Namechange09090]

Over the past few weeks I've discovered bags of women's clothing hidden (not very well) in my 17 year old son's room. They are new , found some in the bags he bought them in and it's all on his card. They aren't glamorous looking, just long dresses and tights. A couple of pairs of denim shorts is about the most glamorous.
He shows no outward signs of being interested in "women's" clothing. He hides the bags but he knows I go into his room to get his clothes to wash etc. He could put them in the washing basket if he minded but he doesn't do I go in and get them (these are his "usual" clothes I mean).
My instinct is to say nothing. He's autistic. He doesn't like to talk about things with me, or his dad (we're divorced). Is this the best approach? Had anyone else had similar?

If he doesn't like to talk about things with you then i wouldnt bring it up OP. As much as you might like to. What would you be wanting to achieve with mentioning it?

Are the clothes in his size? It sounds to me as if they are for him.

If you're going into his room for laundry and he hasn't hidden these clothes then maybe he unconsciously wants you to know and accept it.

Unless his dad is very empathetic, then do not involve him, especially as your son is with you/has his bedroom with you.

I would keep an eye at this stage, as you are doing, and if you feel it’s something you want to raise then go gently gently, as in he can talk to you about anything, anything on his mind etc., but be completely non-judgemental, which I’m sure you will be.

He might be leaving the bags hidden but discoverable in the hope you might be the one to bring it up, so he doesn’t have to raise it himself?

Thanks for replying. The clothes are in a variety of sizes. 8-14. I actually think it's best to leave him to come to me. I don't think he will though. But maybe that's a good point about him leaving then for me to find. I'll definitely not mention it for now. Thank you

I would say absolutely nothing but keep an open mind to support him if he wants to share with you. Could there be any other plausible explanations for the clothes that may not feel obvious?

One way around it if you feel you would like to discuss it with him without actually discussing his life choices is to say something along the lines of “I noticed there are bags of clothes in your room in various sizes, if they are for you to wear would you like my help to find out your actual size so you aren’t wasting money on the wrong size clothes” that way you are offering your help but not commenting on his lifestyle or alternatively as you mentioned if he doesn’t want to talk you will probably just have to wait for him to discuss it with you unfortunately

How about just casually asking if he wants his tights and skirt washing, as if they are just his normal clothes. It’s an oblique way of indicating to him ‘yes, I know, and it’s ok, no big deal’ without having to make a thing of it or embarrassing him.

Id be more worried that he was stealing clothes to sell on Vinted. Surely if he was buying them for himself the fixing would be consistent.

The OP said they were all purchased on his card. I would’ve assumed the same.

Maybe he doesn’t know what size he would take in women’s clothes so has had to buy a range.

OP I’d just ignore it. If he wants to explore wearing women’s clothes, well why not really.