When 'should' you have a birthday party?

[Notyummy]

dd will be 2 next month. Last year one friend had a first birthday party...this year 3 friends are having 2nd birthday parties. DD has not asked for one, and my feeling at the moment is to wait until she asks for one and can appreciate what it is. Our family all live hours away and couldn't all stay with us, so its not like we could just have grandparents round for birthday tea, so if I do it it would involve friends/small children and probably 'themes'...which I fully accept will come when she is older. Everyone keeps on asking us 'what are you doing for dd 2nd birthday?'. Errr, opening a couple of pressies and then going to the park? Perhaps a slice of cake with her dinner...?

Am I rubbish?

At what age do these things usually start?

ds1 spent his 2nd birthday at the airport as we went on holiday

we had a family tea party for dd's first birthday, as did most of our circle of friends. then when they all turned 2 everyone seemed to start doing parties, either church halls with bouncy castles etc or soft play.

we did soft play. people tended to invite everyone from our baby group..now toddler group, and a few from each of our nurseries plus any same age cousins. so for dd she had 12 friends there. it was nice.

we don't have a big family so it made it more of an occasion than just having grandparents over which happens most weekends anyway.

I seemed to get in with a group who had parties every year from the 1st and I followed like a sheep and did the same. Actually, I still remember the look of horror on one on my friend's faces when I suggested that I might not do a 2nd bithday party for Ds1

But you're absolutely right, the early parties are for the sole benefit of the parents, so they can be seen to be great mummies, working (and spendng) hard to make their Dc's lives perfect. You're better off out of it. (but you might have to be thick skinned)

Very small children oftne don't enjoy their own parties anyway - too many people in their faces.

my 4 year old hasnt had a proper birthday party yet (she wants one for her 5th birthday though). We do have family close though so my mum and sister and my sister's 3 kids come and sometimes my brother comes with his lo too. Her birthday is on the 5th of November so of course they all expect fireworks too!! The in-laws have come up from England a couple of times too as they dont see the kids much but dh normally pays the air fare (easyjet!)

Had a huge birthday party for DS's 1st - was more for the adults, really! No party for 2nd birthday, just a family tea and cake. Took him to the circus for his 3rd birthday, just me, his dad and DS. He can't really cope with the excitement of parties at the moment. he just ends up crying / fighting / getting fairy cake-and-fruit shoot 'craziness'. I'm not envisaging throwing any for him until he's school age.

We thought that we wouldn't do any sort of a party till DS was at least 3. No family around, so we didn't do anything in particular except have a nice lunch out with him for his second birthday. He took cake to nursery and did candles etc there.
DH and I both work ft, so no pressure from friends, and DS only had 1 invitation from a child at nursery (couldn't go due to chicken pox).

And when we do have a party, its going to be low key at home until he's old enough to ask for something else.

Hmmm, a mixed picture then.

She sings 'happy birthday to you'...a hint perhaps?? But seriously, she hears it all the time at nursery because they sing it whenever it is anyones birthday!

Think I may stick to my guns for this year at least.

I have done a full on party for both of my DS every year since they have been born - but these have been for ME as much as them. I really love to celebrate having them. I always crack open some champers too. In the evenings I reflect on the joy of them. This could be done as much with a cake and a quiet family day as much as a lively party. Mine have loved their parties, and so have we. But I'm sure they would have equally enjoyed a quieter affair. I suspect they will get fed up of parties soon so I am getting it all out of my system now.

I have the loveliest memories of parties at home when we were kids when we had 2 or 3 friends over for tea and my mum would lead the disco dancing in the dining room or would get thoroughly engrossed in a game of spin the bottle. Brilliant! Don't need to splash out on big parties to celebrate your birthday. Do it your way. When they are older they can start having more of a say.

DS's friends generally started at 3 -- some had 2nd birthday parties, some didn't. Certainly bu rising-three DS had worked out that if his friends were having parties then he should be having one too. That wouldn't have occurred to him at rising-two.

I treat these early birthday parties like play dates. A good rule is to only invite as may children as the child is. For example this year ds1 will be three so he can have 3 friends over. I usually just do hot dogs and mac and cheese and make a cake. No muss no fuss.

Notyummy, I would whatever you and your child are happy with.

DS is five and DD is three and we haven't had a birthday party with his friends yet. We get together with the grandparents and cousins who are on the same side of the channel as us. He is perfectly happy with that so far although since his 5th birthday he has been invited to proper birthday party so may ask for one when he turns 6.

I have just thrown a party for my 2 year old - it was only a few friends playing in the garden, with all the toys, then pass the parcel, snack time, and again playing with the toys - lasted an hour and a half and she loved the presents!!

I've done birthday parties every year from 2 for my DDs who are now 12 and 11. DS will be 2 soon and I have absolutely no intention of doing a party for him! It is really for the parents at that age I think - and I plan to not do one for as long as possible - maybe when he's 5 and at school.

Until then, it will be birthday cake and presents with immediate family. I may relent and have a couple of friends round when he's 3 or 4... will see closer to the time.

Oh - and party bags - just don't go there...

I used the early birthday parties as a means of getting to know other Mums- so yes, they were for my benefit, but not to show off as such. We're not in a very show-off area, so parties tend to come cheap: a few plates of crisps, a batch of sandwiches, cheap juice and a home-made cake.

we had parties from 1 as we had a little group of friends from first time mums' group.

She is not likely, at 2, to ask for a party is she?

mine didn't have one till she was 3 and that was only because new baby came along and we wanted to make a bit of a fuss over her - it was still a small family thing

first proper party with friends when she turned 4 and this year, in a few weeks a small party with friends as am too pregnant to be bothered

you'll be doing it annually for long enough when they can ask for it, why not enjoy it yourselves while you can

AFIAC they never have to start!
They never have with us.
DD will be 7 in August and has never had a party. OK, so there isn't a mad party culture (which scares me btw) at her school.

She has never bothered, we do her birthday with a special tea, just the two of us and of course she gets presents.
This year she's getting a trip to a London show. (we live in Glasgow)

It's up to you about parties but do them when you want!

I know my DD has really special birthdays anyway, I make sure and a whole bunch of screaming kids having a paddy at a wrapped up present (pass the parcel) because they didn't win is not my idea of fun.

I do also confess to being a really grumpy cow