Baby’s dad doesn’t want anything to do with her suddenly

[LovingTealHedgehog]

The relationship was abusive financially emotionally and sometimes physically, I ended it. He has said to be to be honest he doesn’t want to see our daughter again as he just wants to “do what I do” have fun and live life.
he was a good dad to her when we was together but clearly he doesn’t care
he has also said he will give me absolutely no money for her at all as apparently he won’t until I repay every single penny from anything he’s ever got me back (impossible as I relied on him)
even after I said it’s not Money for me it’s for our daughter.
he doesn’t care he knows I have absolutely f all to last me 4 weeks I get universal credit that’s it . How can a man just switch up like this on his child. I’m so sad for her it’s so horrible to see
he saw her Sunday but spent the amazing 1 hour he came calling and harassing me he probably thought I’d hang around. But no I’m truly done

I imagine it would be more sad for her to grow up with a dad that doesn’t really love her, thinks abusing women is ok and only has access to her so he can keep access to his abuse victim.
Put in a cms claim, but expect him to suddenly want to see her then because it’ll lower the amount he has to pay.

I know he won’t see her because he doesn’t want me to have any free time and he knows I get no helps. He loves I suffer it’s evil!
Can you do that even if you don’t have much info on his work and address

believe me your daughter does not need a man like that in her life. how you allow men to treat you, is how she will grow up and allow men to treat her. put your big girl pants on know that he is the arsehole no decent man says they are not going to pay for their kids. block him on all social media. phone apps etc. take him to child support and go direct pay. so he cannot muck you around. if he starts to harass you file a report with the police and apply for a non molestation order. honestly if you keep him in your life he is going to emotionally, financially and maybe physically abuse you. fuck him

you can put a claim in for child maintenance you don't need his work address they can find him if you have his name and date of birth previous address if possible they can trace him. is he on your daughters birth certificate as this does give him parental responsibility if he is.

How old is your child

he sounds toxic…he is a terrible father

So sorry he’s turned out to be such a w*nker. His loss. Better to find out now than later when you are more invested.
My daughter’s father has had little to do with her after we broke up when she was a baby. She is now a confident, happy young woman and living proof that you don’t need two involved parents to succeed in life. She really has done fine with just one.
Look after yourself and keep your head held high. Onwards and upwards!

Why would you want someone like him in your kids life? Put in a CMS claim now.

He’s doing you a favour. If he doesn’t want contact with her, there’s no need to be in contact.

Apply for maintenance. Ignore him. He is no loss to your daughter.

Jesus take the win and stop wasting your time.

If he wants to sit on benefits and fuck his life up let him. Id say he's bluffing.

File a cms claim (if you have or can get his NI number its helpful name and dob are fine though) and send a text or WA and say "just confirming following our break up you advised you want no contact with our child. If you do change your mind feel free to apply for a child arrangement order."

Do you really think this bastard wont abuse your little girl

• because she looks like you
• reminds him of you
• doesnt act like an adult when she's 4/can talk "she heard what I said"
• to hurt you
• because ... <insert bullshit reason here>

Claim CMS and stay far away from him.
Ideally i'd be looking to move away if I could to protect my child and myself.

I agree with PP.

You don’t need to see him or have any contact, but for DD sake he has to pay CMS. Put in a claim today.

Agreed.

You can’t force him to see her, look after her, give you some time to yourself etc but he needs to pay. Depending on his job you may not end up with much via CMS but something is better than nothing.

stop engaging with him. He’s saying whatever he can to use the little power he has left over you.

contact CMS and get the ball rolling there, he doesn’t get to dictate if he’ll pay for his child or not.

Also contact women’s aid and get some advice about how to reclaim your life and strength.

1 I am not engaging with him. I am the one who chose better and cut him off
2 I don’t care for him to see her the point was I’m upset how someone can just forget they have a child.

He is abusive and I wouldn't want him anywhere near my daughter or have any financial hold over either of us. However, it doesn't sound like you can afford that, so I would contact CMS.

CMS and keep all contact to a minimum xx

prick

I can under and your hurt but as others have said, it’s much easier in the long run if he does bow out now.

You can apply for CMS here.

Id also talk to your local Domestic Abuse Charity or Women’s Aid about getting a Non-Molestation Order in place.

Talk to your HV too, she will be able to refer you to the Food Bank and there may be help from the Fuel Bank too.

Your HV might also help you to get some help through Home Start.

And I’d really recommend checking your credit rating regularly. Men like this will often take out debt in your name and the first thing you’ll know about it is usually when the bailiffs turn up.

It's upsetting to know he thinks so little of his own child, but she has you op who does love her. You will be her whole world growing up. It sounds like she'd be better off not seeing him. Just claim child support for her, he owes her that.

Even if you’re not wanting to take out a Non-Mol I’d still talk to a DA charity @LovingTealHedgehog. It sounds as though you’ve been through a lot and they should be able to help you through all of this

If he was financially abusive in the relationship it’s no surprise he is now. Get everything confirmed in writing and screen shot you saying door is open in the future if he’s like to get back in touch. Then go to CMS and ignore it.

He can’t just opt out of paying for his child. Claim maintenance, not for yourself but for your DD. Men who walk away from their kids deserve the book thrown at them!

Get that claim in op

Stop having contact with him don’t phone or message him and hopefully he’ll leave and your little one alone and she will have a lovely life without the toxic environment he’s subjected you both too. you can’t make him want to be part of her life but Keep records text messages and any thing relevant incase he takes you to court as your not blocking access he doesn’t want it. (You may need to prove that.)
Ring the cms and get a claim started asap they can start the claim and back date it to when the claim is made and get the information they need from the HMRC you don’t have to provide all information. They will eventually remove the maintenance from his wages and pay it to you.