My 7 month old prefers his dad over me and it's breaking me

[Violetgarden]

Hey, I have a son who turned 7 months today. For the last two weeks or so, he is obsessed with his dad. My partner is on paternity leave with us and been spending lots of time with us. Everytime my son sees him he is laughing out loud, always searching for him when he's not there, always looking at him with admiration. When he sees me he doesn't laugh or hardly smiles. Mostly when he sees me he actually starts being grumpy. I am absolutely devastated. I am breastfeeding him, and I thought he will be more attached to me. I feel like he doesn't like me.

Mine was like that , it didn’t last

It will change again and again. This is the age when babies start to recognise people and start to make attachments. Don’t take it personally, it’s just part of child development.

My first was like this. It felt like we had no bond or he had no attachment to me.
He’s 3 now and our bond is lovely. I don’t know when it changed but there have been times over the past few years when he’s been super loving to me and other times when he just wants to do everything with his dad.
My second baby is 7 months old and very much prefers me over my husband and it is exhausting! He just wants to be attached to me aaalllll the time. I should have appreciated my first son’s more independent nature rather than take it personally. It was nice to have some moments to myself back then!

He barely sees you as a separate person to him at the moment. Dad is fun and novel.

It's a phase. It will pass. You are his security - always there, feeding him. He probably has no sense that you and he are even separate beings. He doesn't need to perform for you. His dad is a novelty.

Don't think in terms of it 'breaking' you. Reduce the drama. Think, huh, bit unfair, and know the situation will be reversed soon enough. In a couple of months (they get separation anxiety at about 10 months) you will be longing for the day he doesn't writhe, screaming in your DH's arms, sobbing as though his life is over because you have the audacity to leave the house without him to go to the dentist!

Mine was the same until recently, also breastfed, now she refuses cuddles with dad, and only wants me

And they always say "Dad-dad" first! - after all our hard work!

It will change; just give it time.

My middle and youngest sons were like this. I remember going to collect our youngest from the childminder - he would run past me with my arms open for a cuddle and shout “Daddy” and throw himself at him. I remember thinking how “wonderful” it was that I was doing literally everything and yet Daddy was favourite.

it changed with both kids from around 2/2.5 years old - and they’ve been mummies boys ever since (now 18 & 14). In fact both hate their dad, so from one extreme to the other!

It will pass, but I know it’s heartbreaking when you think about all you do for them etc, and Dad swoops in with some tickles and 10 mins of attention a day and they think he is some sort of God.

You are part of him. He doesn’t see himself as separate to you yet. Trust me there will be a time when all he wants is you. I’d enjoy letting Dad to be go too and take yourself off for a long bath or out for the day or whatever. Make the most of it.

DD was a massive daddy's girl for years (I was also EBF and a SAHM), but now she's a teenager and we're very close.

How old is your little one?

How old is your little one?

It just feels deflating. I love that they have the bond I really do, he is a great dad , but i cant help feeling rejected. I have been through so much with him, it hurts. But thank you, i hope it will come back once for me too

Thank you , i will try to think of it that way. My postpartum depression doesnt make it easy tho. I hope soon I will be as loved as daddy is

She is 2 now, but i think she just viewed me as feeding machine for first year of her life, at about a year it evened out where she would happily play or cuddle both of us, either one could take her up for bath or bed and then couple months ago she switched and now wont go to dad for cuddles, won’t let dad do anything with her like baths, bedtime etc my older daughter was the same, older daughter evened out again at 2 and a half so hoping she follows the same pattern.