5 year old party

[Lauren8642]

It’s my daughter’s 5th birthday in 3 weeks and I’m starting to feel really guilty for not doing her a party. She only really has 3 main friends who she mentions all the time at school so I didn’t see the point in doing her a party and paying £200-£300 to invite people from school who she doesn’t even mingle with. But now I’m starting to feel guilty and thinking maybe she would like all her school friends there and have a nice party food etc.

We was going to go to trampoline park with her 3 friends but 2 of the 3 can’t come so she’ll only have 1 friend go with her and I feel like that’s just a normal day out nothing special.

Has anyone not done a party for there 5 year old and they’ve had a great time? Or shall I try and get something sorted but what are the chances people can come when it’s only 3 weeks notice.

Could they just come round after school for a couple of hours? Assuming it's the weekend they can't make?

I've always done basic home parties for mine with a few friends.

They are delighted with a few balloons, cake and pass the parcel. We've done decorate your own digestive biscuit, or stick on foil art or a couple of musical statues type games.

Or as it's Easter, do an egg hunt with the tiny chocolate ones in the house or garden. That's an easy time filler.

Essentially if you involve cake and make them a cheap party bag then it's a party and they are delighted. My daughter only has three other girls in her school year so it's naturally small but that makes it manageable too.

Do a little party and let her have her day- on a day everyone of her close friends can come and do a family thing on her birthday day?

I really hate whole class and very large group parties for this age. I know they are the "done thing" but I would wager that the vast majority of kids would not care at all, whether it was 3-5 of their actual friends, or 10-20 of their class.

To be perfectly frank, I think that these parties are mostly for the parents benefit. My theory is they start with a parent who wants to show off, and who thinks their child wants/deserves to be the center of attention with 20-30 people around them (something that many 5 year olds really don't like...) and they want to show off their family/planning/self to all of the other parents

Then when one parent does it.. it spirals. Now you have to invite their kid, because you went to their party.. and soon enough big parties are the norm, parents feel bad if they've gone to lots, but not done it themselves.. and they feel like their kid will be "missing out" if the are the only one to not have one.

And yet, under all of it, I would wager your daughter will be way more happy with the people she actually really likes and loves, and less of the chaos/mess/noise of a big party.

If I were you, I would try and find a day when her 3 good friends are free. Even if it is a bit further from her actual birthday, and let her enjoy a great time with them. On her actual day, she can be with her family.

Another vote for find a date her friends can do and have a wee celebration then – cake, party games, and party bags, and it's a party at that age. I've done the same thing when my eldest only wanted a few friends for her 5th. Another vote also for biscuit decorating as a party activity!

yes - we've been to many of these at home parties. they're essentially play dates with cake! Kids just charge around the house and/or garden - they get summoned for sandwiches and cake, and then sent home!

@Lauren8642 that’s plenty of time to organise a party. At least 1/2 the class usually can attend. She’ll have her 3 main friends but will also be friends with the majority of the class too and she’ll get invited to their parties in return.

I’d go for it. She’ll love it being the centre of attention for the day and she’ll get heaps of presents too.

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Three weeks is loads of time to put something together.

Home bargains is great for party bags or pass the parcel. If you want to avoid plastic tat the sticker/activity books are good as are the little mosaic kits and other crafty bits.

I bought the brown paper style bags which fit these things better and printed out a party design with their names, X's 5th birthday and whatever they were into at the time and stuck them on.

Cake I always buy the big £4 one in Lidl and customise it a bit. You can order printed icing roll toppers on Amazon for example or add other toppers.

Another year (when bit older) I made a themed menu and had the burger and hot dog take away style cardboard boxes.

They loved giving a 'proper' order off a menu!

Number one favourite activity has always been hide and seek in the garden though.

Edited to say that a big part of the enjoyment for my kids was choosing (cheap) party bag content and dinosaur paper plates or whatever they wanted that year. Picking their favourite paw patrol character to decorate party bags etc. Its lovely to see their excitement and it's just the same for three friends. In fact possibly more so because they can say Olivia wants blue and likes ponies and Rebecca needs the yellow balloon because it's her favourite colour and they get a lot out of making them up.

Honestly, I think at that age a small, cosy celebration can feel much more special than a big party.
If she only really talks about those 2–3 friends, that’s her “people” — and that’s what actually matters.
We once did a very small birthday at home with just a couple of friends and instead of games we set up a little creative table for them. It turned into such a lovely, calm atmosphere — no overwhelm, no pressure, just them chatting and making something together.
They were so proud of what they created, and it felt much more meaningful than a big noisy party.
I think for a 5-year-old, feeling comfortable and happy is way more important than the number of guests 💛
We kept it really simple but it worked surprisingly well — can share if useful.

Another vote for find a day all the special friends are available and do a special activity with them.

You are being really judgemental. One of my children is in reception and quite a few kids have had whole class parties and it is usually because they aren't sure who their child's closest friends are or their child doesn't have particular friends yet but also because it is a good opportunity to make friends with kids that you don't usually hang out with (for both the birthday child and the invited kids). Normally when kids get older the parties get naturally smaller as well.

Having said that op I think it's totally ok to have a party with just her closest friends though it might be worth trying to find a day when all 3 of them can make it. It doesn't actually have to be on her birthday, right? We usually pick a weekend that is convenient and as close to DC birthday as possible and on the actual birthday we just celebrate as a family.

Yep this. For reception aged kids it’s normal
to have a soft play party or church hall type of thing. Parents socialise/catch up whilst the kids get a play day out of it and birthday child gets to celebrate. It’s really not that deep.