Experience of having a second child with an eight year age gap?

[Exceptcycles]

I was wondering if anyone has any experience of an 8 year sibling age gap. My DH and I have one DD who we love more than life itself! We have always considered another but after two miscarriages a few years ago, we gave up and started really enjoying our lives with one. We have, however, been talking about trying again but by the time baby was born DD would be 8. She would love a brother or sister, she is amazing with younger children, but we are having reservations about the age gap. I must admit, I’ve never been bothered about a large age gap, to me you have children because you want children not to be a built in friend to your current child (my siblings were NOT my built in friends!!) We have also started wondering whether the reservations are personal for us now, for example the thought of still doing the school run into our fifties doesn’t really appeal, but we are conflicted. Also aware I may not be able to get pregnant again so who knows. Regardless, can anyone tell me positives and negatives of an 8 year sibling gap? Thank you!

I started trying for a baby at 25 lots of fertility treatments I got pregnant at 33. I then continued fertility treatment and it took me an another 10 years. As much as I would loved the two year age gap. My girls adore each other. My two year old thinks her 12 year old sister is the best. And my 12 finds the two year old Super cute. They spend a lot of time together hanging out.

Hi,

I have a six year age gap with my two (7 and 1) and I also worried about the age gap. People told me that it's harder because they will have completely different interests and it will make life harder but that's just not the experience I've had so far. My daughter completely adores him, she turned into a mother hen from day one. Even at soft play she will stay with him and play with him which she loves to do, she loves being the big sister. My son worships her, if anybody could see what I have tried in the past to make him smile I would be mortified but she only needs to walk into a room and his face lights up. She loves to help me bath him, feed him, push the pram and because there was a bigger age gap, there was never any sibling jealousy because she was old enough to verbally reassure her and she understood. As she hits her teenage years things may change but siblings close in age can clash at that age. For me personally, it was the best thing I ever did and all those reservations was forgotten the minute he was born. Xx

My boys have a 10 year age gap. They are adults now and very close. Growing up the young one idolised his brother.

my sibling and I have 7 year age gap. We aren't close at all and I had a very lonely childhood. That's likely more to do with my parents though.

But it's comforting knowing they're around, even if we don't really speak!

Good luck 💐

I have an 8 year gap (different dads). It was great because the older one could feed the baby his bottle while I got on with housework. The gap seems very small now. They are the greatest of pals. Their friends overlap. Not a problem at all.

7 year gap here and it has beeb fine. I would say there are things that are challenging like family days out etc but dc were always good at doing things that suited both and as elder ds was more independent we did have one on one time when talking to clubs etc. hardest time was when youngest was 10 and the age gap seemed huge and he really missed having his brother around as much and then when he went to uni it was hard. But now they are both adults the gap seems smaller again.they get on well and have an independent relationship. They are very different characters.

I have only positive feedback on the gap, they are now 24 & 16 (boy/girl).

I have an eight year gap, it's been brilliant! The youngest worships the oldest and the oldest adores the youngest.

There is not a lot of competition because the gap is so big. It's not been very disruptive for the oldest because the baby just goes along to whatever the oldest is doing (music lessons, sports etc). The baby gets her turn when the oldest is at school.

Seven year gap between DD and DS. She adored him from day one and he just loved her back. They are grownups now and still close.

Started late and only managed one, but I am loving the tender descriptions of relationships between siblings with quite significant age gaps. Of course it will keep you in the parenting zone for longer, but it sounds as if you like the idea. Even doing the school run in your fifties isn't too painful: I was 48 before our DC went to kindergarten.