Five year old threatens to hurt herself or others during meltdowns

[Lauren8642]

My 5 year old is good as gold (most of the time) but sometimes she flips it’s normally when she’s tired and she’ll be a completely different girl won’t take no for an answer.
And recently on these episodes she’s been threatening to hurt either the person hers telling her off or her self. For example today I picked her up from school and she wants to climb on something which she needed my hand for I told her no as we was going to the park she didn’t listen so I picked her up and place her on the ground to then she says if you don’t let me I will scratch my self and starts scratching at her arm with this evil look on her face she didn’t draw blood but it looked hard. Or it will be the other end where she’ll say she’ll hit us or I will scratch you.

How do I combat this?

If she says she will hit or scratch you then you say no hitting or no hurting other people. Either restrain or move away.

hurting herself is more problematic. Keep nails very short which will limit the damage.

She’s looking for a reaction. Don’t give her one.
In the situation you mention, you pick her up and you carry on doing what you were doing. Or you say ‘that’s nice dear’ which works for almost every situation right into teen years, and carry on.
At her age I very much doubt she has any idea what she’s saying or how you will interpret it as an adult, she just wants her own way.

If helpful - that’s not a meltdown, it’s a tantrum.

In meltdown she wouldn’t have enough control over her emotions or behaviour to threaten anything, she would likely be uncontrollably attempting to scratch without the verbal pre-warning.

I would tell her firmly not to, pick her up or stop her if necessary, and definitely don’t reward the behaviour by doing the thing she asked for.