My toddler wont settle at nursery.

[justamum5]

My 2.5 daughter started nursery in january, she attends 3x a week, the hours are different but are normally around 2 hour sessions, we left her for the first session and the staff said she was fine but didnt like being told not to play with certain things, so asked her to come in the next session, ever since then so thats over 20 sessions, i have had to stay in the room. She is very attached to me anyway as im a stay at home mum so its always just me and her. if i leave the room she will instantly starting screaming or crying, even if she doesnt see me leave. the staff havent tried to limit anything so its just the same every session im there with her while they dont do anything.
She has never been to any baby groups/ classes when she was younger but it relatively good with playing with the other kids.
Im going for a new nursery viewing in a couple of days. if its the same case, do i take her out of nursery and wait til shes 3 ? or carry on trying?

Also because she will turn 3 on october 1st, so do i just take her out and focus on her at home until shes turns 3 then try again after trying to get her into some groups in the meantime

I’d change nurseries. They sound rubbish. 20 sessions and no one has supported her to do anything more than sit there for 2 hours with you in the room? They sound useless. They should be engaging her and bonding with her and you shouldn’t still be there. All children who start nursery have only been home with their mums. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Or else they wouldn’t be starting nursery.

But settling in is usually a more progressive process than this. My eldest literally had to sleep on her key worker for naps for the first 2 months. But the staff actually worked with them to settle in. I’d be curious if their staffing ratios are such that they can’t let you leave. What happens if next time you just say you’re going and will be back in 2 hours? She will be upset, but that’s okay. It’s their job to comfort her and settle her. She is nearly 3, not a baby so this shouldn’t be so difficult for experienced nursery workers.

Honestly any nursery still asking you to accompany her into the setting 20 sessions is not worth her attending. It sounds like they have got used to you being there so they no longer try and she absolutely won't magically start to settle if you're there because she now thinks it's somewhere you attend together.

I think you need to find a new setting asap.

Exactly that! It does seem as they have given up trying. I have recently tried to just leave her and they have said they wont allow it as its too “distracting” for the other children if she is crying. I literally have to sit in the room the whole time it started off with them saying they would slowly just limit my time in the room and that just hasnt happened and when i suggest it they say she just isnt ready. It’s quite a small nursery so normally only around 7/8 children in the room at the same time, and theres 2 workers in her room. Theres no learning or anything. Also came with a massive bill that they have charged for snacks, and “activites” but all 20 sessions there has never been an activity, and im expected to just stand in the room then go over when shes fussy or has interest in a toy another child has.

100% nothing changes at each setting. Im viewing another nursery tomorrow so will hopefully get her into that one, im assuming i maybe just say i wont be staying as have tried that already?