DD age 5 - going to the loo every 5 minutes

[Lake9mo]

Hi all,

I am beyond frustrated. Since January, my DD age 5 visits the loo every 5-10 minutes sometimes, often nothing but a tiny trickle comes out. It is now interfering with daily life - at playdates, people wonder why she's going "again", at home after school she'd vanish to the loo sometimes for 10/15 minutes and I find her sitting, using tonnes of loo roll but nothing much else happening. Her little brother asks where she has gone.

I've asked school and they say they haven't noticed anything unusual. But what I've noticed is she's now refraining from drinking as much as she used to. She doesn't drink anything at school. As soon as she has a tiny sip of juice at home, she'll run to the loo. If she has a small carton of juice after school, she'll end up using the loo 10 times that evening. It isn't just wees, sometimes she'll sit waiting for a tiny poo to come out.

Doctor tested for UTIs and nothing of concern. I've heard it could be anxiety related, maybe related to loo habits at school. This has never happened before.

Shall I return to the GP and ask for tests of bladder/kidneys? Do I wait it out? Should I go to a child psychologist?

I feel so bad as I'm now getting very frustrated with it. Yesterday I asked what she was doing on the loo for so long and she went red in the face and started to cry saying "I don't know". This morning we were late to school because she had to go to the loo 3 times from waking up to leaving the house. I told her quite sternly she had to come off the loo as we'd be late, and she jumped off instantly. Help!

I really think you should take her back to GP and/or push for more tests. It might not be a UTI but perhaps some bladder irritation.

I hope you can sort it out and she starts drinking regularly again.

Yes go back to the gp in the first instance the urgency needs investigated.

Does her urine smell strong? If you ask her is she saying she feels like she needs to go? Could it be an attention seeking thing - I have twins and one went through a stage of lots of toilet visits just because they knew I’d have to come along with them and they’d drag it out to have a nice chat in there

the not drinking is worrying - is this because she doesn’t want to go to the loo at school or because she can’t do multiple loo trips there?

i have a child with serious bladder issues and I can’t let her drink juice at all - any kind of juice - as it causes the same thing multiple loo trips - they have something in them which is a known irritant

some tips my child’s doctors gave me when they were 5 - double evacuation - make them count to 20 or higher if they can and then try for a wee again. Girls should sit with feet on the floor positioned properly on the toilet and then get them to cough to help empty the bladder completely

OP, I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but she might not go to the loo so often if she drunk more water. If your wee is very concentrated then it can make you think you need the loo when you don’t. Has your DD got into the habit of going to the loo? It’s really not a case of juice in, wee instantly out! It’s very bad for her not to drink anything all day - she’ll end up with kidney problems. Try to make sure she has a drink at least with every snack and meal - and that shouldn’t cause her to run to the loo. At five, this sounds as much psychological as physical.

It doesn't smell particularly strong but after a day at school, her urine would be bright yellow. It doesn't seem to be attention seeking as she's happy to sit alone on the loo for ages. I've tried to not react or pay attention and it still happens. If I time her loo breaks, she'd tell me she's desperate and cry.

She doesn't seem to like water, so I only have luck with juice/squash. I originally thought it could be pollakiuria but it's been going on for over 2 months now.

I just phoned the doctor and no appointments left for today....

I would water her juice right down - it’s not really good for a child that age to drink only juice and if she has a sensitive bladder it’s not going to help

what about swapping juice for milk - does she drink that?

as part of my child’s treatment I had to keep a wee diary - no harm in doing that yourself so you have something to tell the doctor - basically I’d given her a drink -measure how much and write down the time and then catch her wee in a bucket in the toilet and measure it and write down the time and also if her pants were wet - I had to do that for 2 days

Also if you can’t let her go to the toilet - say you are out somewhere or in the car what happens? Does she have an accident and wet herself? Or is it only at home this happens?

I would think it’s anxiety related.

She never has accidents. If we really have no access to a loo (rare) she will hold it.

Before January, she would happily drink a lot of milk before bed. Now she refuses to drink milk with her little brother in the evening. Sometimes on the weekend she will drink a small amount and then run to the loo.

Our 4 year old had a similar period, when having constipation. It was basically pressing on his bladder, hence the very frequent need to wee. When you said about tiny poo it made me think whether she might have similar?

I would treat everyone for thread worms as this could be the cause. Did the GP rules of constipatiom? It’a very common in this age group and would cause these issues.

She may have an overactive bladder which is something that can be often really well treated with medication- definitely go back to your GP

A pelvic floor physio might also be able to help. After having a baby, I had to retrain my pelvic nerves and bladder to tolerate a large volume of urine. The physio gave my exercises to do when I needed a wee to help delay the urgency sensation by ten minutes. This helped me build up from going every 45 minutes to more like 2h (normal range) and able to hold my bladder overnight. Might be helpful for your daughter if organic causes are ruled out?

Thanks all, I will go back to the GP and push for more. The last GP I spoke to said her daughter did the same and I should just wait it out. But I don't feel happy with that...

I don't think it is constipation as it's been going on for so long and sometimes large amounts come out, and sometimes watery like yesterday. It's more the frequency of going and sometimes even feeling the need to sit and wait for something to come out, e.g. a tiny poo.

My DD doesn't like drinking water or even watered down juice, sometimes I will say “if you drink this cup/half cup of water then you can have a half cup of juice”. Still not great as juice can irritate, but better than drinking nothing or just juice.

https://www.healthline.com/health/pollakiuria

DD1 had this at same age. It did resolve itself within about six months but key for us was just not passing comment on it or reacting to it, as that just fed the anxiety about it. She still sometimes gets a flare up in a new place/situation but largely it’s totally resolved at age 7.

Could be anxiety based - has she had any accidents at school or elsewhere? So is so anxious about having another one she is over compensating with all the toilet visits?

She never has accidents...Last one was probably 2 years ago at age 2-3!

Thank you - before you realised it was that, did you go for any scans of bladder/kydney? Any tips on how to remain calm about all the loo visits? I honestly can't cope with her disappearing so often only for me to find her on the loo making a mess of the loo roll....

Has she had an accident or is terrified of having an accident? Has she heard another child get in trouble for wetting themselves or being teased by other children? Do they get free access to the toilet at school or can they only go at certain times? She's obsessing about it for some reason.

Could you get her to wait a few moments before she goes to the toilet so she realises she's not really that desperate? And then build the time up gradually.

She had a UTI previously that was treated and then when she started going to the toilet a lot we assumed it was same again but she had in-depth testing and no sign of infection. Because she wasn’t in pain and there were no red flags other than just going frequently, she was otherwise happy and healthy, her urine samples were fine, etc. the GP suggested we wait it out and see.

I can’t claim to have stayed calm all the time and I did get frustrated at times, but you just have to kind of internally scream and put on an unbothered face whenever you can manage. It was very annoying, it made trips anywhere a nightmare for a while, but one day I realised that it had been much better the last few days and that was it.

We never pinpointed any specific trigger, it just seemed to be a phase that had to pass. I think eventually she sort of got a bit fed up with it all too as she kept missing stuff when she had to go to the toilet. It kind of stopped as mysteriously as it started.

Thank you - interesting that it reappears in a different place/situation. Started with my daughter 3 months after starting Reception, I wonder if that is a trigger. Will go back to the GP tomorrow and ask for more tests, and maybe then come to the same conclusion as you with pollakiuria.

How long has she been using the loo by herself? Is it psychological - she has learnt to go to the toilet by herself and so feels like she is managing an aspect of her care, but doesn't understand that she doesn't have to go every single time she drinks something. Or does going to the loo herself feel like an achievement for her, so she just keeps going because she likes that she can do it herself? Also, I'm not sure if OCD can show up in a five year old, but could it be that sort of thing?