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Playdate etiquette

5 replies

Wanderinggoat8 · 16/03/2026 22:32

My child was invited to a playdate with class mate , they get on well .Older sibling ( not by much) of child who invited my child is there for most of these playdates and can be bossy generally but up to now has been managed and my kid has been able to stand up for themselves at normal level antics/ scenarios. The mum usually has another kid over to play with the older sibling but today my child was so upset. The older sibling and friend they had over made my child be a certain animal in a game while all the others got to be mums dads, babies in some make believe games and kind of forced my child to floor to act out the part! They are all under 11 years old. The same childs friend picked up on the tone of the playdate and took the opportunity to call my child different derogatory names and continue to antagonise even when my child asked them to stop. My biggest issue is the parent was in the house and didn't tell me what happened at pick up and never called to say my child was upset. My child was flushed with the level of crying which was audible.
I'd appreciate a call to tell me to pick up earlier but I didn't even get informed. My childs friend is a nice child but I'm thinking it's not OK to accept anymore playdate invites when said older sibling is in the house ,which is hard to navigate. Ive done plenty of playdates at my house too so its not the solution to do more as i dont have capacity to be the only host of playdates but want to keep their friendship alive if thats what my child wants! Would you confide in the parent to say you would have appreciated the call under such circumstances? I'm seething to say the least.

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PickledElectricity · 16/03/2026 22:36

I would suspect that the parent just heard/saw children playing silly games and didn't look too deeply into who was happy in their role.

I'd probably have a chat and ask that the sets of children play separately if possible as yours ends up getting picked on and go from there.

HotBaths · 16/03/2026 22:37

But did the other parent know your child was upset?

Wanderinggoat8 · 16/03/2026 22:39

Yes she had known as the younger child who invited my child over had informed her of the crying in bed room and what the older ones did

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InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 18/03/2026 17:48

Thats sad. If they can’t keep older sibling from bullying your child then no of course your child shouldn’t keep going back.

confusedbydating · 18/03/2026 17:51

I just wouldn’t send my child there again. Host their friend at yours but I wouldn’t let them return.

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