Breastfeeding and baby blues

[AmberUser]

I'm 5 days post partum and feeling awful. Had an emergency c section last week and I've found everything difficult physically since getting him home. Breast feeding has been lovely in many ways, but physically really hard. Feeding has gone on an hour plus, not getting started on cluster feeds, and I've not been able to express more than a few mililitres in one go to supplement him.

On Saturday, he was 12% below birth weight, today he's 14% below. We've started topping up feeds with formula now. It's already helping him settle and he's more content than I've seen him until now, but I can't stop crying. I feel like I've let him down. I know this is probably baby blues, but it's impossible not to feel racked with guilt over everything.

Can I have a pat on the head and some reassurance? Has anyone else struggled with breastfeeding but found it improved as you go?

It’s really hard when the weight drops off them and emcs are really hard I’ve been in the same situation. Expressing didn’t work for me and just made me feel even more tired. They should give you a feeding plan so you can continue bf with a specific volume to top up. Mine was bf on demand and top up 30ml every 3 hours
Because you’re on a feeding plan you should get a lot of HV support and mine was brilliant
The end result was DS gained weight. We stayed with the top ups until about 12 weeks and then continued with bf until he was 3.
DS was diagnosed with CMPA at about 5 months old and the whole thing repeated itself with child number 2 three years later, she was diagnosed with CMPA and reflux at 6 days old. I’m not having a third.

So you’re doing really well. And it will improve from here. Labour and an emcs are really hard on you so you’re doing great to be looking after a baby.
Make sure you drink plenty and then drink more and rest as much as you can

Sounds like you’re doing great, the postpartum period after EMCS is hard.

I never got DC1 to latch. I pumped for a while but couldn’t get much out and it was exhausting. So tbh i switched to formula. Then i didn’t even try with DC1.

By all means keep going, but also if it gets too much, please don’t beat yourself up. You haven’t let your baby down at all. You also need to look after yourself. I spent far too long giving myself hell for it.

I can tell you that my kids are now 5 and 2 and absolutely no one gives a shit who was breastfed and who had formula.

You’ve done brilliantly managing to breastfeed at all, and these first few days are really important, so well done for getting through it!

You're not “letting anyone down” by supplementing with formula, feed your baby in a way that works for you, whether that be breast, combination or formula.

I say this from a position of having breastfed my kids, but in retrospect it did me, and in turn them, very little good, and I’m happy to see my dd feed her newborn formula, they’re both absolutely thriving. Be kind to yourself x

@AmberUser oh bless you, it's rough. It's actually really early for the milk to be established and doubtless the c section hasn't helped. Your body is having to do a lot of healing as well as making milk.
Fed is best so top ups are perfect. Keep going and see what happens with your milk, but if you decide formula is the way to go then your baby will be perfectly fine.
Good luck and be very kind to yourself.

Stick to your guns!!! My health visitor was so pushy with formula as my baby was losing weight. She was coming out weekly to weigh him. I was like you, I couldn’t express anything (because he was always on me I didn’t have a chance!)

anyway .. i told the health visitor where to go… and my baby gained weight in his own time. I have confidence next week he will start to gain weight. My baby is 4 months old and is a little pudding!!

you will be producing milk let him cluster.

obviously if he continues to lose weight that’s a different story … but they say they loose 10% anyway and breast fed babies are more prone to lose more weight. I wouldn’t be overally worried at this stage.

you are doing great! Keep going! Don’t give up breast feeding! Once you get past the first few weeks you’ve nailed it

my only advice is if formula is helping you..
try express at them times too

You 5 days post major surgery and instead of recovering you have to look after a newborn baby on hardly any sleep! Of course it’s hard. Please be kind to yourself, nothing is harder than this!

You don’t need to express, that’s just another chore that can go if it’s not working for you. If breastfeeding and topping up with formula is doing the job then that’s absolutely fine, lots of mums do that. If you don’t want to carry on with the formula in a few weeks when your baby is gaining weight nicely you can drop the formula feeds and just breastfeed instead - likewise you can just formula feed if that is what you want.

Take it easy, these first weeks are about recovering from the birth and bonding with your baby, you don’t need to get dressed or even leave the bedroom. Take all the help offered.
When you’re physically a little better try and find a new mums group, it really does help to talk to others going through the same thing.

It does get better honestly

I learned relatively recently that after birth, when the prolactin gets going it suppresses oestrogen.

so you’re going from the highest oestrogen level you’ll ever have to effectively ZERO in a few days.

So that’s the root of the “baby blues”. The other stuff is how you’re rationalising the feeling (though it is all hard emotionally and physically too).

but from maximum to undetectable: it’s bonkers.

you will feel better eventually.

I had to express to increase my supply with two babies - it was extremely exhausting to do the triple feeding but everything was sorted out within two weeks and then I EBF. That said, fed is best! So if you feel too exhausted to keep breastfeeding, that’s fine! The most important thing for your baby is for you to be healthy in mind and body!

If you want to breastfeed, you need professional help. I paid for an IBCLC lactation consultant. A lot of money but she saved my BF. I just wouldn't have cracked it without her.

But if you don't, move on to formula for your own sanity and the baby's health. Weight gain is very important at this age. Babies thrive on formula.

Although you might want to see a lactation consultant anyway, as a tongue tie for example will affect bottle feeding too.

My third was EMCS and I found it much harder to BF than with the others. If that had been my first I don't think I'd have managed. It's fecking tough.

The trauma of the operation is tough to heal, then being drained to make milk is hard. It's really hard.

I found it got better with rest, and being kind to myself. My supply boosted and all was well. But I could easily have dipped if I'd not had the rest and support I needed.

Please be kind to yourself. You are a star for having got this far. Whatever your next step is, be kind to yourself - you've done amazing

As your baby gets bigger and stronger, you will be able to transition slowly back to EBF if that's what you want.

My baby was jaundiced, I chose to give formula once per day so I could have a rest and to help baby get over the jaundice quicker. There was a point about four weeks in when I could have transitioned to EBF - my supply was good enough - but it just suited me to keep going as we were. Combination fed until 8 months.

Whatever you do, no one will know in the future whether your baby was breastfed or formula fed. Whatever you do will be the right thing.

Sounds very normal, and you’re doing amazingly. Don’t worry about the weight drop at this stage; mine did the same: I never pumped, I wouldn’t worry about that at this stage. Feeding that much is normal and necessary to get your supply going. Have lots of skin to skin, and try and do as little as possible apart from holding and feeding. No laundry! The crying is also normal. And it will all get better. I found BF so hard but it got better after a few weeks; please get midwives to closely observe your latch, and if it’s not getting easier a lactation consultant might be helpful or local breastfeeding cafe. After the initial tough period i exclusively fed and am still going at 18 months !

Im 7 days post partum, mama. I dont have anything to say other than I hear you and I see you. One day at a time.

Thanks everyone. Had a bit of sleep now and feeling a bit better on things. I think this is definitely raging hormones making everything seem worse than it is!