Morning Routine- need a new one!

[Wolowl]

Apologies if this is long. I get up at 5.30 on work days. My DH works shifts so is sometimes home, sometimes not.

My Dd3.5 is an early riser. Any time from 5ish on a bad day (although can generally get her back to sleep) to 6.30.

She has a Gro-Clock in her room which is set to 7am to wake up. She loves the clock and it really helped her understand when she should be in bed. She also knows that from 6.30 she can be out of bed/playing/looking at books etc. That part of the routine always has worked & is still ok.

The trouble is when she's up & playing & I am downstairs getting ready for work. She is constantly calling me upstairs to help/chat/anything. Even if I say I need to get on & can't come up, i.e. in the shower she will just keep shouting for me until I do give in & come upstairs. I worry what the neighbours think at this point.

Our bathroom is downstairs so I shower etc & get dressed down there. I make lunch ( I do prep the night before wherever possible) and wash up.

We never get out of the house on time. We ideally need to leave at 7.30, but get the bus so it does vary which one we catch.

When I go up to see her she is dressing her doll, sometimes herself, playing around. Then at 7am she gets dressed if not already, we have a story & her morning drink. Then we have to do teeth etc and it takes an age.

I know I could get her out of her room earlier, but then the little I can get done in the morning immediately reduces as she will think I'm free to play.

When DH is home he will be upstairs and available to help. At the moment DD is very clingy to me so quite often just yells at him to go away/won't accept his help. We are working on it as its unacceptable tbh.

I adore her and wish I could be playing with her in the morning instead of rushing around. I'm just so stressed each morning and am dreading the school run from September as it matters more about being late than the casual nursery start time.

Many thanks for any insights, what am I missing here?

What do you actually need to do? work backwards from needing to leave the house to wakeup time.

Here's an example of our morning (with a 10 and 5 year old)

My Alarm - 6:30, DH gets up and showered i go downstaors and prep the kids breakfast and move bags and coats to by the door. Make my breakfast. by 7 I'm upstairs, wake kids and i hop in the shower they go downstairs to eat, DH leaves at 7:15. I'm out of the shower as he leaves. I still help 5 year old get dressed otherwise he'd take an age. If they're dressed and ready by 8 they can have 15 mins of TV time, leave at 8:15 - 8:20.

at 3.5 the morning sit with a story and drink would have to go, teeth I'd be doing for her (still help 5 year old with his) Work/school mornings just aren't for play here, it's a military operation and play/TV is only allowed once everyone is ready to leave and only if we have some spare time.

We have had fundamentally the same routine since I went back to work when DD1 was 3.5 and DD2 was 1.

• I get up and get dressed, do teeth, hair, etc. (I almost always shower in the evening). Any children awake can play quietly or listen to the Yoto (and now they often do! When they were younger, they generally followed me to the bathroom).
• All three of us go downstairs, I get them breakfast, myself a cup of tea.
• I make snacks/lunches/my own packed breakfast, check bags are packed, etc. whilst they eat and we all chat. Sometimes we have music or a story on instead. If anyone slept in, this is generally the point where I have to wake them.
• Children get dressed, hair done, teeth done.
• If there is any time left, they can play.
• Shoes, coats, bags, out the door.

It saves time to have them eating whilst I'm doing stuff in the kitchen, but the chat whilst we do that is also important. As they get older and get dressed, do their teeth, etc. more independently, that save a bit of time as well.

Thanks both. I just don't think that having her downstairs with me, rather than in her room is going to help - she'll just be downstairs following me around from 6am if she's up from then.
There is a baby gate on her bedroom door and she's never asked to come out - she also doesn't get out of her bed until 6.30 even if she's up early. I have no idea why but it's like it's never occurred to her to get out of bed before she 'should'.

She has her toniebox next to her bed, so is always allowed to put something on and listen. She can also get books, which she used to do and actually worked a lot better. At the moment she's really into a couple of her dolls so the time in her room is often spent playing with them/getting them dressed etc, which also causes issues. Yesterday for example she wanted me to do their hair as part of the routine but obviously that wasn't idea.

When she's at school it's also likely she'll have to go to breakfast club etc, and at the moment she has breakfast at nursery, so not sure if getting her up and out early for an extra breakfast will work. She takes so long to eat at the moment it will cause more problems than it solves.

I'm up at 5.30, have a cup of tea, shower, get dressed, make lunch, eat a very quick breakfast and then wash up (only if DH isn't going to be in to do it at a later point). Then I get her up, get her dressed if she's not done it already, sort her hair (very curly so needs help with that) Then we have the morning drink and a story - which honestly is the best part of the morning most days. Then downstairs and I brush her teeth, then mine. Then we need to be out the door.

At that age, and even now at 5 tbh my Ds will want me nearby. My getting ready on opposite floor will just be a nightmare

My Ds is up around 6-6.30am. On days I’m alone, I aim to get up by 6am. If he’s asleep I will quickly shower and get ready alone, if he’s already awake he chills in my bed with Tonie box and books. Once I’m dressed I get him dressed and ready.

Only then do both of us go downstairs, and make tea/ lunch box/ breakfast. I do teeth downstairs

That way none of us are going up and down stairs. Go downstairs once, stay down.

The idea with having them with you downstairs is that it stops the constant calling you upstairs, and because you can chat with them, you're still getting that interaction. If she's fine waiting on breakfast, then how about bringing her doll downstairs to be dressed or setting her up with some colouring at the kitchen table? You still can't stop to do dolly's hair (well, maybe a 20 second messy ponytail!), but you can chat about what she's doing, and stopping briefly to sort a tangled sleeve or whatever is much quicker than running back upstairs.

I totally get the morning drink and storytime being a lovely wee moment in the morning rush, but if you're really tight on time, you might sadly need to reconsider that part. Could any of lunch or breakfast be prepped the night before?

Thank you, it definitely sounds like something we can try.
Lunch stuff can be done the night before and I do what I can as and when.
When DH is around he could do everything DD is wanting me to do, but she just won't let him at the moment.
But lots of things to think about mentioned in the replies, thank you.