should this always fall to the father?

[duckydoo234]

Should the mother be expected to help out with childcare and making dinner after she's been at work all day, or should it always be the father who does both?

DH and I both work full time so we work as a team in the evenings. So yes the mother and the father should be expected to 'help out'.

Why would one person do both? Surely one would take on childcare and the other would take on cooking. And - wait for this - they could swap roles round every day if they so chose.

Does the father also work all day?

What has the father been doing all day?
Are the children school age or younger?

If they're at school, I would expect meal prep to be done during this time so there's not much to do at dinner time.

If they're under 5 then it's all hands on deck, because there is likely to be no rest during the day.

I’m guessing you mean that should the STAHP be expected to do childcare and make dinner when the working parent comes home? In my honest opinion yes if you are a STAHP then no you can’t expect them to do both jobs the minute they come in the door

No, if both parents work full time, it just doesn't seem fair that it's assumed that the dad will take responsibility for all the childcare, cooking, admin, cleaning etc. while the mum relaxes, because she's been at work all day.

One person looks after the kids while the other cooks. You don’t get to opt out of looking after your children just because you have a job. Fair enough, while you’re at work you are not the one to look after them, but as soon as you’re home then it’s all hands on deck. If the father has been looking after then all day then he has been working too.

What a bizarre post. They’re just a team, both pulling their weight equally in whatever form that takes. How can anyone possibly say based on an op which offers barely any context? Also, if children are just another chore, don’t have them.

Is the dad a stay at home dad? If so, it depends on the ages of the kids. When they are very small it is all hands on deck really ime as there was always something that needed to be done around the house and for the kids

Who on earth assumes this?!?

It's not my personal situation. I just think that with how far we have supposedly come with equality, and it being 2026 and everything, that it wouldn't automatically be assumed that, with both parents working full time, all the childcare, cooking, cleaning etc. is still considered "men's work".

Yeah, poor men, they get such a tough time of it

@duckydoo234 Well it does appear that a lot of SAHMs expect their partner to come home from work, sort kids and prepare dinner so...
#equality(!)

But no one assumes that. Is this some kind of joke? Just that it’s not very funny. Some kind of twist on sexes? Because most don’t assume the other way around any more either.

In what world is childcare, cooking and cleaning considered men's work?

Are you living in an alternate universe

Are you doing some kind of daft reverse to prove a point? Yes things are still shit for women.

@arethereanyleftatall I'm not sure. I have seen it from SAHMs on here that they feel their husband should do the childcare and dinner when they come home.

What?

It’s time for bed pal.

Both parents should parent.

Don't you mean women's work.

But the dad should be the default parent, and if he needs help with anything, he should have to ask the mum, and tell her - over and over - what, when and how? Yes, that's what I thought.

Christ, 20 minutes and people still can’t spot a reverse/ sarcastic post. I’m sorry op obviously if both work full time, the Dad should still make dinner and / or do bath time .

@samantha9 What about if mother does not work? Who should do it then?

Try harder