Does anyone else get comments about how to act around your own child?

[Mkxxx]

Feeling frustrated here. I just can’t seem to do anything without feeling like I’m being the worst mother ever. I’m 34 mum to two boys (2Y and 6m). If I cry in front of my boys then it’s bad as they’re seeing their mum cry or it’s ’he’s looking at you crying’. If I get angry then I’m setting a bad example. Even if I scream at a spider I’m putting fear into them. I just can’t do anything! Btw this is mainly comments from my mum! Which is annoying as no consideration was taken when I was growing up and have lived in a generally toxic household full of shouting and arguments from my parents which still go on to this day! I just find it so hypocritical and have told her to stop. Sorry I just need to let of some steam. I’m only 6months pp and I’m trying :(

Sounds like your mum is trying to carry on the toxic household! It's her, not you!

I’m sorry you feel this way :( it’s really difficult and I feel the same way. It’s so hard, but I’ve had to completely ignore the comments as my mental health takes a huge toll. Is from my mother in law. Nothing I do is right. Always comments, don’t do this, don’t do that. And made up stuff that’s never even happened is the best one yet! Try put it over your head. Your children won’t have fear because you screamed at a spider. And it’s good to see human emotions. If they grow up wrapped in cotton wool never seeing crying/ different emotions if normal life they will have a huge shock! Loves x

You need some space from your mum.

"Watch out mum, if they see and hear you putting me down that will put fear into them that mums don't love and support their children, look, he's looking at you criticising me"

It’s really important for children to see their parents expressing normal human emotions. This is healthy and sounds like you need to break the cycle. Dh tells me not to swear so much around the dc, but he’s probably got a point. 😂 Frankly, I’d be spending less time around your mum.

It must be hard living with a critical mother. I would keep my distance, or else she will erode your self-confidence. You are at one of the toughest stages of motherhood, and you need your space to navigate and find your own feet without someone looking over your shoulder.

My mum would say the same about the boys seeing me cry. I think it's strange.

Thanks everyone! You make me feel so seen. I don’t actually live with my mum. She comes over once a week to help with kiddos so it’s my weekly dose of criticism. Does the same with what I eat too. I have to laugh otherwise I’d just cry all the time. Xx