Worried about my 12 year old for no reason 😕

[Lbtmmxx]

Hi, this is my first time posting hoping to get some advice. For the last couple of months ive been constantly worrying about my 12 year old son. I dont understand fully the reasoning for it. Hes a healthy happy lad. He is quieter kid and only has a few close friends.

This is effecting me everyday and im constantly tracking him and worried he will get hurt/beaten up or let down by friends. He has been in a football team for years which has helped his confidence but ive recognised he does not iniciate conversations. Im constantly worrying he will be forgotten about/pushed out for being the weird one. He usually sticks to one friend and then im constantly worrying they will leave and he will have no one. (Also goes the same for school)

There has been an occasion or two when others havent been kind to him but hes dealt with it fine and dosent seem to have effected him.

My main concern currently is him not having friends/his friends ditching him.

I feel a bit silly! I did suffer with quite high anxiety in the pass, so am now wondering if something has set it off again and im just getting back into that what if frame of mind.

Praying someone has experienced this/has advice as its really effecting me. Im in constant worry and having bad dreams. Its got to the point that I am inviting friends round in the hope they will stick with him etc.

I know deep down I should let him experience life. I try to think back to when I was younger and how good I was with dealing with my own issues, but for some reason I just cant stop worrying!

Thank you in advance ☺️ Hope its not too ridiculous 🙈

this sounds like it is an issue for you and not for him.

what have you done in the past to help you deal with anxiety? can you go back to that and engage again?

if you let this anxiety take over, it will affect your son as well and that isn't fair on him.

Thank you for replying I really appreciate it.

Yes I am thinking the same I was on medication when it got really bad but after managed change my ways of thinking. thinking of something else etc. Its difficult though.

Im hoping it hasn't rubbed off on him i dont tell him how im feeling/what im worried about. But im aware he could pick up my anxiety.

I think what im trying to ask is what do I do if this does happen. Im just constantly worried he's going to become unhappy 🙁

did you have friendship issues yourself as a child or teen? I think sometimes these memories can be revived when our kids are the same age.

I think you need to focus on the fact that he is happy as he is. The best thing for him long term is self belief, so please don’t share your fears with him. Focus on the fact he is fine now rather than “what if” scenarios.

Please don’t pass this anxiety to your son. Different situation but my child does not have friends (I worried). Was kindly told, you want him to have these relationships, he doesn’t. We’re all different.