How do I approach this with my child?

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My DD aged 8 playing Roblox and when I made her account it was a child’s account I told her she’s only to have friends on there that she knows. At first she was great, she would show me when someone would add her as a friend and she only had my account, a couple of friends from school and her uncles and auntie on there. Since then Roblox has changed its policies and she was no longer able to message people as her account was set to her own age.

last night I checked her account to see she’s now got over 100 friends on there, she has somehow changed her age to 13 and I’ve seen that she’s tried to message people asking them to join games with her and I know for a fact she doesn’t know pretty much all of these people and they could even be adults.

she’s autistic and has ADHD and it’s very hard to approach certain things with her without it exploding and her dad getting involved. I’d prefer her dad not to know this time and try and talk to her privately after school but struggling to know how, suppose I’m just looking for advice really

Just ban Roblox. I have SEN kids same age and I do know what a social thing it is, but it is not a safe platform. I had to ban it from my kids. Lots of tears and tantrums but you do move beyond it. I deleted it off their devices and said it's moved to a paid subscription model and we can't afford the license.

If explaining to dad is an issue just share with him some of the many articles available about why it's not a safe platform for kids of any age.

We have a child with ASD who did this. We ended up having to be really firm: he could either follow our rules (ie no befriending people he doesn’t know) or he couldn’t play Roblox any longer. That’s it. I think he was “collecting” “friends” partly due to having social difficulties in school - but that obviously isn’t the way to solve it.

In your position, I’d change her age back, go through each friend individually with her, remove anyone she doesn’t know personally, and talk through why it’s not safe to use Roblox in that way or change your age. If she isn’t on board with that, I’d do as the PP recommends and just ban it. This is how they learn to use the internet safely - it’s OK to be the bad guy sometimes.

Sometimes children need to simply be told matter of factly something is not allowed.
My young adult children told me very seriously to keep their primary aged siblings off Roblox and other online games, and their school also advises no Roblox.
Just tell her there’s been a change of rules in the house, and why.

I agree with the others, we have never allowed Roblox (my DS is similar but older). You will have to weather the meltdown. She'll get over it.

Adhd kids need super clear boundaries sadly, so you cannot avoid a meltdown if that’s what you’re trying to do

my ADHD kid has done worse than that so I’m super firm on these stuff

Read this and then decide if you want your 8 year old to play.
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2025/apr/14/risks-children-roblox-deeply-disturbing-researchers

How did she manage that? You need picture id...

I would just turn off the chat .. seems harsh to ban it altogether

We've removed Roblox from our house completely, DS is 10 and was not happy about it initially, and still has moments, but overall he's been so much better since. He has moments where I can tell he's sad and his friends are still playing, but distraction here works - lets go out for a walk, or play fifa together.

Just take away Roblox and all computer games. No need for these age 8. Let her be a child.