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Am I doing harm to my 2 year old

8 replies

ash646668 · 09/03/2026 13:23

Shes still breastfed to sleep, then put down on the bed before I make my exit, I used to stay with her and have a hour nap myself but now have a newborn who will choose these times to be most alert, when she wakes up you can see on the monitor she looks for me then starts crying and gets off the bed to come find me, I would go to her at the point if im not trapped under a newborn. My question is am I doing any phycological harm to her by been there when she goes to sleep then not been there when she wakes up?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 09/03/2026 13:28

I don't think she'll be telling a therapist about this in 30 years.....

Moshalot · 09/03/2026 13:33

My kids are older, and very balanced, happy, well-attached children.
At about 8-10 months they started having 'proper' naps at set times, and I just went upstairs, fed them, put them in the cot (asleep or awake), sang a song, and left them there. When they finished napping and woke up they called or cried (depending on age) and I went to get them. This is absolutely fine and completely normal.

BillieWiper · 09/03/2026 13:34

Well no because they have to learn that you won't be staring them down all night like a mental health nurse to a sectioned patient. Of course you won't be there when they wake up. If you sleep in a separate room. They'll get used to it.

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Wynter25 · 09/03/2026 13:35

No of course not x

Upthenorth · 09/03/2026 13:36

I wouldn’t worry at all.

She wakes and calls and you are nearby. If anything she’s learning you not being directly with her doesn’t mean you’re not available, if you see what I mean.

If my kids wake in the night they come and find me, it’s no harm as they know I am there.

Rowen32 · 09/03/2026 14:14

Is she waking within the hour you used to be there? If she is I would suggest trying to reduce that gradually rather than abruptly as she's obviously gotten used to you being there for the hour and I wouldn't just stop it especially coinciding with the arrival of a new sibling.

Perimenoanti · 09/03/2026 14:18

Oh gosh you sound wonderful. No, its not harming her as long as you still respond to her needing you.

Perimenoanti · 09/03/2026 14:20

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 09/03/2026 13:28

I don't think she'll be telling a therapist about this in 30 years.....

You sound a delight (not). This is about what the child's nervous system learns or doesn't learn and not what the child will remember in their mind.

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