Child visits and maintenance

[Louieloo]

Hello,

Im wondering if anyone has any ideas and thoughts regarding my situation. I am pregnant and myself and my partner have split up. He wants to be involved with the baby, which I am happy about. However, he has demanded he must see the baby everyday for two hours. I have politely said I think everyday is a bit too much, as I need to live my own life and we are separated. I compromised with alternative days and when the baby is older he may take her. he said I am being difficult and stopping him from being involved.

secondly, we have discussed finances going forward. He has informed me he will only buy things that the baby needs and not give me money. Unless I got through legal routes, he earns £60,000 a year but is self employed. He is telling me he is only down as earning £19,000 and I would only get 100 out of it.

he has been controlling and manipulative through out the relationship and im not sure what to do. Or do you think im unreasonable?

When baby's are little contact should be short but often. I think 2 hours 3 days a week if very fair. As the baby gets older it would be reasonable to increase the hours and reduce the days. If he's being a dick then tell him he can go through the legal channels. That shut cuts both ways.

With the CM if he's self employed and under declaring then your not likely to get anything but I'd prefer nothing via CM than having the means to control and manipulate. Realistically, he's stealing from his own kid. He might be comfortable with that but I wouldn't be embarrassed to tell everyone exactly how much CM he contributes.

Thank you for your reply. I think if that’s all he wants to put in then so be. I don’t want to be having constant contact on what I need him to buy etc. Contact about the child is fine and scheduled arrangements, so there’s no need to message all the time. I’m not on a lot of income myself and things are expensive. It just seems unfair when he has a lot more money than me. If he wants to watch us struggle and he’s happy with that. I think it’s pretty shallow of him.