8 month old driving me mad with ‘tantrums’

[SophieRules]

This is an, anyone else thread. Kind words please. He’s always been fussy but calmed down at 6 months I guess with being able to sit up and weaning helped his reflux. But I knew he was a boy that wanted to be able to do more, the doesn’t like being a baby type. The last week his ‘tantrums’ have ramped up and it’s so hard. Tantrums (screaming at the top of his lungs and crying) come from:

-changing nappy
-during a meal waiting for the next mouthful
-a meal finishing, no matter how much food is given
-not liking a meal
-not liking a book
-not being able to do something dangerous like eat a wire

It is relentless and I can’t stay indoors with him as it’s unbearable. I’m jealous of my friends babies that seem to be calmer.

I just want to hear from mums who got through this!

How are you responding to him?

are you smiley/singsongy voice/distracting/validating during him being upset or do you get cross and frustrated?

have you ruled out pain?

Oh yes, I had one of those.

In my case, he clearly did not want to be a baby, or a toddler. He was bloody hard work, but ended up being the most focused, driven person you could imagine, and generally excels at life.

I found a good routine really helped, and just tried very hard not to take any of it personally!

Distraction distraction distraction! But I'd also like to know how you're responding...is he looking for attention?

An 8-month-old doesn’t have tantrums in the behavioural sense. At that age babies simply don’t have the neurological development for intentional defiance. What you’re seeing is distress or frustration, not misbehaviour. Try to understand if there’s something that bothers him, maybe teething or something else. Child psychologist speaking. Thanks

That age cant have ‘tantrums’. Babies cry and get frustrated. Why do you think you need to stay at home? Mine (now 16 months) has always been far easier when not at home. They get so bored at home, sounds like yours is bored. Mine has always made a fuss for nappy change, clothes change; face wipe etc. I just ignore it and get on with it’. Make some fun plans! go swimming, go to soft play, go to toddler groups.

Outdoors are your friend. Also work on motor skills a lot. Mine was the same as he really wanted to do stuff but couldn't. We encouraged a lot of floor play, climbing and standing. We went to the park a lot, got a waterproof blanket. Also soft play. Bought some climbing cushions which he loved.

He started walking at 11 months and went from a little ball of frustration to the happiest boy EVER.

I have one of those too!

DS is 4 next week, and is a tiny force of nature. He was a real shock to the system after my calm and fairly placid daughter! He is so focused, determined, endlessly curious, and headstrong. He has extremely strong emotions and has been tantrumming since he was 9 months old. I genuinely believe he hated being a baby. He wanted to see and experience everything, and he found not being able to move himself or communicate what he wanted unbearably frustrating. Once he could walk and talk (and be reasoned with!) things got significantly better, but my goodness it was hard going at the time.

I had to develop an iron will, and negotiating and diplomacy powers on par with the most seasoned hostage negotiator. He does like a routine, though is fine with the unexpected. Wearing him out through activities like soft play, the park, swimming and his balance bike are key. He probably watches more TV than is good for him, but he needs the downtime too.

My youngest brother was one too, and like your son is so incredibly driven. If he wants to do something, there is little that can stop him.

👏👏👏