What do bedtimes look like?

[pinkyponkyplink]

I have a 10 and 13 year old. I’m not really sure what the best thing is anymore. We used to do dinner, pudding,sweet treat, bath and bed. These days I go up to them when they have finished showers but usually my teenager is on a call, playing Roblox or in a last minute stress about homework or some drama at school. Then the 10 year old starts practicing hair or make up and before I know it, it 10pm, hubby and I have had no evening time and we are all shouting as we are tired and stressed.

At that age they took themslves to bed and we had our evening as normal, I thought that was normal at that age they knew roughly what time was best and we may mentioned get off in 20 mins please or whatever but it didnt affect our night

same as above, especially by 13.

I would expect you should be able to set them clear times, and then they should be able to take themselves off and get to bed by themselves.

Mum + Dad time starts at X:00PM
No technology past X:00PM
Lights off at X:00PM

When I was growing up, parents time started about 1h before my bed time. They would watch TV, and we were welcome to join, but that was their time - if we wanted to do something else no problem, but we couldn't expect parents to be involved. Then normal bed time (school days) was the same time, and while we might get a reminder from parents, it was our responsibility to get ready and then get to sleep. Without technology and lights, we couldn't exactly do much, so even if we tried to stay up later, usually you'd get bored and fall asleep.

I’d cut out the pudding and sweet treat. They definitely don’t need all that sugar before bed.

Cut out the screens. No screens after shower. Homework should be done before then too. We have set homework days built around activities (some nights my eldest doesn’t get home until after 9 a few nights a week, so homework gets done Sunday afternoons, Monday and Tuesday before dinner).

Then once they’ve showered and are in their rooms, they can do whatever they want as long as they don’t come out. Obviously, not whatever as we don’t allow phones, so not making calls and having drama. I’d stop the makeup in the evening, but if she wants to do her hair or whatever, give her a mirror and let her get on with it, as long as she goes to bed after. My youngest still plays with toys in his room. Eldest will do skincare, read, crochet, draw and then turns light off and goes to bed when done.

Dh and I still don’t have any time together because at these ages, they don’t go to bed until 9-10pm. We’re out driving them around in the evenings or sorting out the kitchen or walking the dog. I go to bed at 9pm, earlier than my eldest does. I’m not staying up later to hang out with Dh. 😂