4 year old seems so off- help?!

[Shleepymummy]

My 4 year old has just been 'off' for what feels like months now. Waking at 5am for the toilet (a poo!) but then not actually going, and then not going back to sleep. Not eating her dinner as much anymore just picking at it, not having any breakfast (just wanting crackers?!). She has school lunches so not sure how much she eats, different answer each day. She cries nearly every morning going into school, always seems to happen after a holiday break (she is fine at pick up and school never report she's upset in the day). She went to my mums after school today and that is going to be a new thing to help with my working hours and apparently she just said the whole time she wanted to come
home and she just watched tv (my parents are not good at playing and will just leave her with the telly) She doesn't want to go to bed and wants us to leave the door open, use a night lift; check on her (wasn't an issue before). She goes to a dance class on a Saturday and all the other kids go in and have fun and she just clings, sometimes cries sometimes reluctantly goes off. Sometimes she does a baby voice and is obsessed with having her muzzy which I only allow at bed time but she'll sneak off to give it a hug 😂Everything feels like a battle with her or she's upset. It's been going on for a while and I thought just tired from school but now it just seems too much. She seems unhappy, and I just feel unhappy too with it all.
Anyone else been through this? And if not, where do you even go for help. Doesn't feel like a GP thing, health visitor? Have parents evening next week so I'm going to ask teacher for advice too.

I actually think it is a GP thing. A lot of those clingy behaviours happen when they are tired, and her not eating and pooing at odd times could add up to a medical issue. Is she constipated? That can make them very miserable but not really able to articulate why.

Yes I thought this but she does poo in the day and it's soft and seems normal. I don't think she's constipated, and her body clock now seems to have shifted to 5am and we can't change it!

Reception teacher here and I would contact your health visitor (under 5s refer to health visitor rather than nursing team). I would be asking about constipation- it can really impact behaviour, eating and sleep. Sounds like she is uncomfortable. She could be constipated and still poo daily.

Uti? Thrush?

Edit to add: daughter frequently has thrush in and around anus.

Hmm no signs of that

Ok I'll do that thanks.
She poos maybe 2/3 times a day and they seem ok size, not massive though (compared to my toddler). I have done lactulose for a day to help clear her out, maybe I need to add that in again

she sounds chronically overtired. Is there anything you can do to get her a reallly early night?

Soft poo can be a sign of chronic constipation. The soft stuff can squeeze round a hard blockage. I thing a go appointment could be a good idea.

Yes going to have to try this I think. Multiple early nights in a row and see if that helps.

I will- but do feel adamant it's not that. She is happy to eat snacks, just odd she has gone off her meals. I'm guna do a few days of lactulose but i think a month of constipation would have reared its head by now with abdo pain etc

All that sounds pretty normal for a 4 year old who has started school this year…except for the bathroom and eating habits.

Pooing 2-3 times a day and waking in the night to poo are big red flags. I’d expect a child this age to have about 5-7 poos a week and she should never be waking to poo except in rare circumstances like a tummy bug. My guess is this is something like the start of some bowel related issues and I’d want them to test her for inflammatory bowel disease and coeliacs, plus generally look at her bloods for signs of infection and inflammatory markers.

Could she being bullied?

What is she actually eating?

Is she going outside a lot?

How much sleep is she getting?

Is she drinking lots of water?