Birthday Party Planning Etiquette and Timing

[Gray67]

Doing first child's Birthday party in June. Probably soft play. She will be 4. When am I meant to start planning/booking this?

The main reason for asking is that we will be away for the weekend immediately after her birthday and so we're thinking of doing a party the weekend after that. The issue is that there is a little boy in the same nursery class who has a birthday in that next week so I thought it would be polite to message his mum and ask if they were planning to do a party that weekend, so we don't inadvertently mess up their plans.

So I need to know when would be an appropriate time to message that Mum. Thanks for any advice!

Gosh you’re really over thinking this.
Unless you want to do a joint party, just pick a date, book the hall or whatever it is and send out the invitations.

I would say now.
soft plays get booked up months in advance here for parties.

😂 am I? That is actually helpful to know. Thanks! Did wonder if that was the case

Ok so I messaged the mum and she has suggested that we do a joint birthday party on that Saturday morning. Should I go for it? The kids will be 4, boy and girl in the same class. So it would be same kids at two parties otherwise. Not sure if they are particularly close friends, or if any of them are really -they all just seen to generally get on and play with each other. Not sure how much of a boy girl divide there is at that age.

This sounds like the perfect solution if you are inviting the whole class. You save money, everyone else saves time.

Sounds perfect to me!

Do kids care they have to share attention at parties? Never done this before

I went to two joint parties last year. One of them had 3 kids sharing 😅

No- they'll all just be enjoying the softplay. Generally you do two separate cakes and two separate Happy Birthday To Yous.

You may find that some people only bring a gift for the child their child is actually friends with rather than two gifts, which is all to the good IMO.

No they won’t care/mind.
Obviously it’s all worked out nicely this time but a veteran party over thinker, don’t run your party past anyone/invite anyone you don’t want there/do anything you don’t want to do. She could very easily have said “yes little Joshua is having a soft play party that day and then I heard little Nell is doing the same the next day, please can you organise a different month so it doesn’t clash”
or something else batshit and then you’re in a whole thing.

Just always always book the party you/your kid wants to do, on the date you want it, at least a half term in advance, invite who you want to be there ONLY (obvious cruelty aside), WhatsApp the invitations and don’t engage anymore about it. It saves so much trouble and heartache and drama and the kids don’t really care about any of it IME.

Two kids in my DS class had a joint party and it went great.
they loved sharing it.

as pp said, two seperate cakes and sang happy birthday twice.

Why did you message the mum? As above, you don’t need to run plans past others! Joint parties are great because you can split the cost of hall and entertainer or whatever it is you’re doing. You sound really uncertain about everything. No need to overthink!

I don't think she done a bad thing messaging the mum?
surely you wouldn't want your child's party at the same time as someone else's