Breastfeeding toddler advice

[Baxton97]

Hi! I hope this reaches the right audience! I (32F) have a toddler who is 21 months old. I still breastfeed him but we are now strictly down to mornings and if he's upset through the night, I've wanted to stop a few times but found it difficult as he's never took to a dummy!

Recently his sleep has been terrible, he's never really slept well and I've been feeding more during the night. I was thinking it's my fault for still feeding him but just noticed back teeth coming through.

I suppose my question is, would stopping feeding help his sleep or would I just be making things even harder for myself? I have friends with toddlers the same age who are sleeping bad who aren't still being fed so I'm not sure it would make much difference.

Or should I just keep going till all his teeth are in? It doesn't particularly bother me but I would like to stop soon.
Just looking for any similar experiences, thanks!

Another thing I'll add is he wakes around 5am every day and sometimes goes back to sleep being fed, but even if he doesn't it gives an extra half an hour or so to atleast lie down! But then family and friends say he'd lie in if he wasn't being fed but I'm not sure. Thanks

I think it's sounds like it's helping and soothing him more than it's causing him to wake up, particularly in the mornings so you could continue for a bit longer. There's quite a change coming up as he heads towards 2yo. I'm still feeding my nearly 3yo and find it hard to imagine stopping, it just gets him back to sleep to quickly when he wakes at night!

I know! I think if my friends toddlers who weren't being fed were sleeping all night I'd think okay maybe....but seems it doesn't make too much of a difference. They've also been having 2am parties! I almost stopped not long ago then he was poorly and it was just instinct

We stopped feeding to sleep around 13 months and then switched to a floorbed at 14 months. Both absolute game changers.

It was a weight lifted to be able to have my dh put her to bed and deal with night wakes. The first night he took her up and cuddled her and it was about 30 minutes of crying. Second night, 10 minutes. And then, she was completely fine with being put to bed by daddy.

She still woke a couple of times a night, but it was much faster to get her back down. Then we introduced the floorbed and she's slept through ever since.

She is still an early riser though! Always between 5-6am 🙃.

Luckily he goes to bed without being fed absolutely fine! Do you still feed her or have you stopped completely! I've heard such good things about floor beds! It's definitely something I have thought about. He can sometimes sleep through till 5 (like last night) I do think the last few weeks have been his very back teeth. It's just hard to know what to do best.

I still feed her, although trying to stop. She's not keen on that though haha.

I would definitely recommend a floorbed. So handy, if you need to lie down with them when they're ill, or if they just need a cuddle. We went straight from a cot to the floorbed so I wonder if it's just comfier than the baby mattress, or if the extra space is what did it for her.

I'd also recommend a floor bed, we switched at 13 months and her sleep has improved. I'd be looking at nap time / schedule first rather than stopping BF, what's his usual wake / nap / bedtime? Could be time to reduce the nap duration. We cap the nap at 1 hour (17 months) and it's really helped her nights.

Every child is different so it ends up being a bit of a gamble. It could be that he wakes up and genuinely needs the comforting to get back to sleep, so you could end up awake for ages rocking and cuddling when boob would have fixed it straight away. Or it could be that he just asks out of habit and once it’s not an option he just goes back to sleep. Unfortunately there’s no real way to predict which it is!

We've tried all sorts with naps etc he's just generally never slept well. He woke every hour when he was very little and has never really slept past 5am! Sometimes he can sleep through though so i think i should just be grateful as i know many have it worse! Thanks though

Yeah exactly. I think the past two weeks he's been extremely bad because he's been poorly and teething and I think how would I soothe him without it? 🤣

If he has teeth coming through I would give paracetamol before bed and again after the requisite number of hours had passed. Adults wouldn't usually endure that level of pain without some pain relief after all.

We give paracetamol and breufon in intervals when he's teething or poorly

Hi! I would keep going if I were you, just to help you both through while he’s teething. I have a 3yr old and after a long time winding feeding down we’re now at 1 feed with his book, but I fed him the other night when he had a bad cough. The next night he woke up and he accepted a cuddle instead So just to say, it’s OK to go back a bit if you both need it - I think winding down feeding is a bit like sleep in general, definitely not linear!

I stopped breastfeeding my toddler at 20 months. At that stage she was feeding at least morning and evening and several wake ups throughout the night. I had tried cutting out/down feeds but then she would get sick/teething and it was her main way of being comforted, she was really attached to it.

After Christmas this year I realized how exhausted I was after almost 2 years of broken sleep and I just couldn't keep going. I was quite emotional at the time and worried about our bond or if it would make it even hard when she woke during the night and needed to be comforted.

I quit cold turkey and explained to my daughter in really simple sentences e.g "mama milk is all gone, you can have milk in a cup". She understood, and was really sad for the first few days, but from the second night she slept through the night and has every night since. I was shocked to be honest, I didn't think it was having that much impact on her sleep and it has massively improved my quality of life. I was also really worried about the impact on our bond and if she would feel rejected but tbh it hasn't at all, she is still a big mamas girl and when she is sad she comes and lies on my chest and gives me massive hugs.

Good luck, it's a big step for you and your boy, but it's also important to prioritize you and your sleep and health. And well done for breastfeeding this long, it's a big achievement xx