Possible ADHD / Austism 6 yo

[Throman]

Ive always thought my DS 5 (almost 6) was neurodivergent from a young age. He met milestones late pointing and speech etc but he got there . He's always had quirks , but is a really lovely loving little boy .

I spoke to the school about it to see what they thought and had a meeting yesterday, they agree there is something but she can't put here finger on what it could be. Things noticed:
He zones out , I have worried about absence seizures ( i have booked a GP appt to check), but I don't think its that , it's more in his own world . We went to a sign language show recently and he was literally in his own world dancing while all the other kids followed along, he would randomly try for 5 seconds and be doing his own thing again.
Asking him to do something such as get his shoes on you have to ask about ten times.
Food sensitivities, if its not a safe food to him he won't touch it , and genuinely will vomit / gag . Same with medcine etc its awful .
The school mentioned he's slower at processing things, I haven't noticed this as much but I assume I'm just used to it , DH says hes noticed slightly .
He has bursts of quite manic energy .
He has hyperfocused on things but this seems to have calmed down the past year.

Hes meeting all academic milestones and is very social, which obviously is great. He is not badly behaved, in fact quite the opposite especially at school . But the teacher says also makes it less clear to her , but she thinks there is something.

I spoke to my Dad who said well could have told me that , I think everyone has always thought it. Just to add my DB has ADHD and autism , my half sister ADHD and I'm pretty sure I have ADHD. So I am not massively worried , just wondering if anyone has experience with similar symtoms to him?

He is now on a watchlist this term at school , after which it sounds he will be referred. the reason i want to know is to support him at school and at home.
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Sounds like you're doing the right thing, differences in attention and focus are a good sign that something is not typical, and getting him assessed before it comes to a crisis is super important and will really help him later on.

I am a very strong believer in getting the assessment and diagnosis. No matter what schools or SENCOS tell you.

Schools will often not actually come out and say yes I believe he is Autistic. They're very nervous about this and I had a situation where we had multiple hints made to me but the word Artist was never used. Then the SENCO tried put me off getting him assessed! her reasons were very weird. Don't underestimate how much some staff don't want to go through the hassle of all this if he is just coasting by. They absolutely will not go out their way if they don't have to.

So I would now start the process and never mind this watch and wait line from school -whatever that means.

The school can submit a request to assess using whatever they have recorded there. You provide your parental statement with all the reasons you believe they're ND and mention the strong family history. You can ask another family member to write and submit a statement as another person who sees behaviour to suggest there's neuro divergence.

Get the ball rolling. Find out who the local provider is. Councils often outsource to another organisation to do these things.

By secondary school, you will definitely want this confirmed and officially diagnosed.

Thanks, I dont think they are holding off as she said after Easter term . She mentioned they could have a plan in place by the start of year 2 (he's year 1 now ).

However I did think it odd they never mentioned this to me as they clearly have concerns , I mentioned it .

I was wondering if I should go down the private route, would they acknowledge that?

My DB was diagnosed until 19 although it was extremely clear going up and it caused lots of problems , again my DS has just been diagnosed at 15 and is now on track to fail most of her GCSEs and has forever been getting told off in school. She's in a top private school as well, I imagine she masked it well and then it got to much .

Unless you go private you’re in for a long wait. So if you’ve not got a spare £3k knocking around I’d get on a list now.
my son is on NHS list. Was initially told 2 year wait. It will be 4 years if we’re lucky. I’ve heard some places are closer to 10 years.
Another option is right to choose. Again, rules around that are changing. Our 12 month wait for an in person appointment for adhd has stretched to 24 months minimum.

We got on the list when my son was 5 and I’m glad we did as he’ll likely only be assessed at 9.

In terms of is he neurodiverse. I say mum’s know best! I’ve been fobbed off so much but people don’t see / ignore my son’s struggles. He’s a masker and copes quite well with the structure of school but struggles at home.

My daughter was diagnosed with dyslexia at 8 and is been in and out of school since she was 6 saying somethings not right. They brushed it off and actively discouraged tested. I did get her tested and now diagnosed she’s getting lots more support and thriving!

Im sorry your having such a long wait , thats insane. What is happening in the meantime , are the school supporting him like they would with a diagnosis?

A friend on my DS was referred last year , and has just been diagnosed and the school said the wait wasn't that long , which is definitely at odds with what I have read which is why I wondered about going private .

I'll see how we got on , I thought it was about 1.5k not double , ive only had a quick Google!