How do Mums with young children find the energy to go to the gym?!

[Biosblbay]

By 7pm most nights I am absolutely exhausted, my children are aged 3 and a 7 month old, my husband doesn’t usually get home until 6:30-8pm depending on his day so most of the time the kids are in bed by the time he gets home.
I am currently on maternity leave but I go back to work full time in 2 weeks time, however I work from home and although my mum is going to be here to take over looking after the baby 4 days a week, I will most likely still have to do some things in the background while working at the same time so I feel like It won’t be much more as a break than if I was to get up and go to an office where I can focus, no distraction etc. But currently while I am off I spend all day doing house work, 3 meals a day, of course being Mum to baby and she is teething and the minute so she is extra clingy and crying more than usual, not a day goes by where I get a break unless it’s to sit down and eat when baby is asleep. My 3 year old goes pre school Tuesdays - Fridays so these days aren’t as hectic as a Monday would be, but I still then have to do the school runs daily, I still find myself exhausted regardless!

… another thing that baffles me, I still will have to do most of the housework and cooking and school runs when I go back to work so how will I juggle everything and find time to go gym! 😩

I have gained 2 stone since the pregnancy of my now 7 month old and I am desperate to loose it, I also think gym is a bit of a break for me and also good for how I am feeling, but I am just so tired and the thought of sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine once the kids have gone to bed watching tv or having a bath seems way more appealing than going gym after being on my feet all day. I see Mums on social media all the time going to the gym and I just think “HOW!!?!”. I am so desperate to loose the weight.

A few things:

don’t go to war with your body now it’s a bit different after giving you two children. Be kind to yourself.

eating and drinking make more difference to your weight than exercise ever will.

you’re in probably the most challenging phase of parenting you’re ever going to get - their ages, teething, navigating the return to work, etc. This is the hardest time to try and add something extra to your plate.

where is your other half in juggling all this? Does he get time to go to the gym?

Finally - I managed to fit in exercise 6:30-8am while husband did kids breakfast before he left for work, taking kid to childcare on his commute route

Find a gym with a crèche and go in the day time!

@ponyinmypocket I won’t be able to, I go back to work in 2 weeks doing 9-5 😩

@WobbleHeadthank you for this. I just feel like so many women bounce back so quickly, I gained and haven’t lost, and still after birth gained more due to poor diet. But if you say eating would make more of a difference, I could easily cut my calories by half not a problem! I do convenient eat a lot and tend to snack loads due to lack of sleep, and sugar in tea but I can easily make a change to this. I thought it was the exercise that was key to loosing weight. I will calorie count and stick to a calorie deficit.

husband doesn’t go gym, he has gained weight too since having kids and married life but he is happy as he is! I am more imagine conscious and hating being a size 14/16. I used to be a size 10/12!

This
was my life saver

So I would look at going to the gym one day in the week at 7am, whilst your DH gets the kids ready. One weekday over lunch. Then a Saturday morning - say 9am. This is roughly what I do - I don’t often go in the evenings. You do need your husband to be pulling his weight to make it work though.

When mine were at that age I’d squeeze in two 30-45minute resistance training sessions a week: one on the weekend and another in the evening.

All my other exercise was walking to and from nursery and then in my lunch break. You could offer to take your baby for a walk during lunch to give your mum a bit of a break.

It didn’t really impact my body hugely, but did have a positive impact on my mental health. And it meant when I was more time and energy rich I’d already built the habit of exercising so adding in another 1-2 sessions a week didn’t feel like much of a jump and I had more confidence.

Sometimes dh sees a personal trainer in our garden and brings DC1 with him, and the PT gives her tiny weights to lift or tiny straps to pull so she can join in. She's been doing that since she's 3. So that's an option.

For me though, the only working out is carrying my enormous toddler around. He's 13kg so that's plenty

I started to do HIIT workouts at home in nap time when DS was a baby. As he got older I moved that to in the evening when DH was doing bedtime.

Once I sit down on the sofa at the end of the day I'm done for so the workouts have to be part of my active day otherwise I won't do it.

Getting out to the gym isn't doable for me in the week when combined with work so a daily 20 min HIIT workout is the easiest option.

Well if you want to go then go at the weekend when your husband is home?

Losing weight is 80/20. 80% food, 20% exercise. Get on myfitnesspal, stick to a calorie deficit and it will start to go. Don't put pressure on yourself to get to the gym all the time, I've started going regularly now and I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old. Look up HIIT workouts on YouTube, quick 20-30 high intensity workouts that you might be able to fit in a couple of times a week. The more you exercise, the better you will sleep (if your 7 month old doesn't wake too much) but honestly the first couple of years I just focused on diet to loose the extra pounds and now I have more time for myself I'm focusing on toning. You still have a really little baby so try not to worry too much, you're in one the hardest phases of life! Move as much as you can when you have time, walk rather than drive if possible etc.

Also sit down with your DH and explain that now you're going to back to work, the household jobs need to equal up more. You'll both be working in the day, so the chores also need to be divided more equally. I had to have this chat myself, I still do more but my husband now does the food shop and meal planning which is a massive headache I don't have to think about anymore. Also let him do it. Try not to manage him. It's hard, he won't do it the same as you do it (or as well!) but if it's done, it's done. I've had to learn to let things go to feel the benefit of not having to do the job for myself ❤️ good luck!

My kids are 4, 2 and 11 months. I’m also in the last few weeks of mat leave (boo!) and will return to work full time soon. Exercise is pretty important to me, as much from a mental health perspective as a physical one! So, my ideas are:

Short runs, eg. 5km. Or just do however much you can in half an hour. You could go in the morning unless your husband leaves for work really early? Mine is out at 7am so weekdays are tricky, but I go on the weekend and on a couple of evenings now that it’s brighter. Key is to go immediately after putting kids to bed and avoid the sofa on the way out, otherwise it’s impossible to leave!

When I’m back at work. I’ll run home from nursery drop-offs if WFH. Or run to pick up in the evening.

Failing that, put the baby in a sling and walk everywhere. That’s been my main form of exercise during every maternity leave. Naps in the sling leave scope for thousands and thousands of steps a day.

Do less housework.

Get your DH to support your efforts. Me and mine take it in turns to deal with the kids in the morning so every other day I can exercise before work.

Get up early to fit it in. I get up 5/630 depending on what I want to do.

You have to make sacrifices if you want to do it.

Why will you still be doing most of the cooking and housework?
I think the women you are talking about probably have husbands who do their half of childcare and housework.

in your shoes, I’d be exercising out of the house both Saturday and Sunday. Your husband can stay with the children he hasn’t seen all week. He could also batch cook.

tbh, two parents working full time with two very young children is only ever going to work if you either both pull your weight or you outsource loads.

I definitely wouldn’t go at 8pm! I’m getting into bed by 8:30pm. Personally, I tend to exercise during the day (but I’m conscious childcare is an issue for you) or on the weekends. I did have a spin bike though, so would sometimes do a spin session during nap time.

Dh and I both carve out time as needed for things we want to do on the weekends. When mine were that age though, we went for a walk every day, plunked them in carrier or pushchair, and could easily walk for 1-1.5 hours. And we’d go out walking on weekends as well. Dh would carry the bigger one and I’d take the baby.

It’s more the time issue for me. I prefer exercise in the morning but rarely get a chance.

I was in survival mode until youngest was 2 so was powered by sugar, carbs and coffee. But then once it eased a bit I got myself back and more. Just be gentle with yourself now, you’re in a hard tiring stage

I have 2DC - DS8 and DD4. I would say it isn't until the last year that we finally in a place that I can regularly go to the gym. Its so hard to get up and go at 6/7pm at night but I do and now its not so hard (still hard but not so much)
My DH also goes to CrossFit 3 evenings a week and DS8 have after school activities.

My biggest advise is sit down with your DH and work out a schedule. What days its possible around work etc for you to go balanced with everything else - cleaning cooking etc. It wont work without your DH being supportive and on the same page.

I'd also first find something that fits around your schedule easy. I tried several gyms and classes over the last few years since having my DD but they didn't stick as they weren't convenient times or locations. I have now settled on the local leisure centre as they run classes at 7pm most evenings as well as swimming in the evening and gym access. The combination of lots being there has helped loads. If a class is cancelled I can do a swimming or gym session instead.

I also agree with a PP that is 80% food and 20% gym. One without the other doesn't work. I've found it hard on the food element so actually not lost anything in a year despite regularly exercising - 2026 is my year to crack the food element. Although so far life is getting in the way of that!

I’d focus on food first but my advice would be to think like a man. Maybe your DH isn’t like this but mine (now ex lol) played football three times a week from day dot. That isn’t unusual for many fathers and he just prioritised that above other domestic things, two evenings and one weekend session. Your DH will manage if you really want to do it. Don’t rely on motivation, make it a commitment to go and carve out that time for yourself.

I used to be a gym regular but with travel to and from adding to the time away, I've struggled post-babies. I've taken to running because it's, say, 30 mins door to door so easier to fit in. I can get a workout in first thing when my husband is getting toddler ready for nursery and be back before they leave. In the evening, I tell my husband before he's home I want to go a run. I get my clothes on before he's back, get kids set up for dinner or whatever then he walks in the door and says "go" before taking over. Same at the weekends, husband will say to me right go a run, I've got this and almost pushes me out the door. I really appreciate that support and encouragement because, like you with an almost 2 and an 8 month old, I'd never really have the energy if I waited for the perfect time with nothing else to do. Most of the time I don't feel like it but I feel 10 times better once I'm out the door.

Another option is my local gym has classes where babies can come along with you so I can go to metafit or spin on the weekend and take baby with me. Possibly worth looking into that.

I put the baby to bed at 7pm, leave DH to handle the toddler bedtime and washing up, and go to the gym. It helps that the gym is next door.

My DH has a sort of hobby/second job that requires whole weekends away so I don't feel bad about it.

Why do you still have to do most of the housework and cooking? You're both working full time so you need to split tasks.

I go to a gym with loads of classes so I can usually make 1-2 sessions a week and then go to the gym on my lunch break one day per week too. I find it gives me more energy overall than just flopping on the sofa watching TV does.

Diet will make far far more difference than going to the gym. eat well and a brisk walk o your lunch break

I'm sorry its hard to hear lol I resented doing it but it's so much easier to go to the gym early morning. Slip away and let DH do the morning wakeup etc and then you can do school run after. Or get up mega early and then go and come back and have a quiet coffee then get ready for drop offs
Then all your evenings are for you
Use DH when he's back in the evening to lay out clothes shoes for nursery and bags packed for nursery or for your mum to have baby
He can put something in slow cooker in morning for tea and put a load in washing machine/dishwasher ready to go
Tell him this is non negotiable and not that much effort

Look at working one day in a cafe or shared office so you at least get out the house. Lots of places do deals where you can work from a cafe with coffee included

work lunchtimes