1 year old not settling in nursery, should I switch?

[Worriedmum1988]

Hi everyone, I’m worried about my 1 year old at his new nursery. He started in early Feb so has been going a few weeks now, for 2.5 days a week.

He cries every drop off which I know is normal but is also crying a lot at pick up before he is handed to me. He has had hand foot and mouth so missed a couple of days for that which hasn’t helped.

Nursery called us to collect him at 11.30am yesterday as he was inconsolable, not eating and they couldn’t get him to sleep, he’d only been there 3 hours.

It’s a new nursery and I think they’re struggling with staff, the manager said she’d been in and out trying to help settle him but they couldn’t. On another occasion at pick up his key worker couldn’t tell me how naps he’d had, “because there are so many babies” and she couldn’t keep track.

They struggle to get him to sleep, he is breastfed but I’ve given them breast milk, dummies, sleeping bag etc. Im worried they just don’t have capacity to give him the attention he needs to settle, nap properly etc. what would you do, should I find a new one?

Depends why he can't settle really.

How is he at home? How does he nap and eat?

If you've always fed him to dleepnand he's never had a bottle or used a dummy to sleep then expecting him to suddenly do this with strangers is a bit much so soon.

I think it's too early to pull him out and to be honest he may never be as happy there as at home.
But, do you have concerns about the setting? It sounds like perhaps you are picking up on a degree of disorganisation and lack of individual care?

@Nickyknackered Thank you for your reply. He eats really well at home, plenty of solids through the day. Napping wise he isn’t fed to sleep, I change him and feed him then he’s into the cot awake with dummy and patted to sleep. They’ve tried that but I think they don’t have the time to sit with him for 5-10 mins to pat him to sleep.

He's not even been there for 10 sessions yet. It's honestly far too soon to start thinking about pulling him out. Give him more time to settle.

He's done 8 days max? That's such such early days. You need to have more realistic expectations in a new setting who have to settle lots of babies who will all be new. .ore established settings have settled children and new starters stagger their start dates.

Because it will take longer than 5-10 mins for him. He's already upset in a new place, with you he's calm regulated and familiar.

Agree it won’t be the same as at home and knew the transition would be hard but didn’t expect him to be so upset after drop off. I did a settling in session with him and it seemed a little chaotic, staff coming and going and admin staff joining in with some of the baby care. They’ve reassured me they are recruiting but it seems they don’t have the capacity to carry him round etc if he is upset and they have other babies to see to

You have already picked up on the fact that they have too many children for the staff to cope with, even if they fall within the legal ratio. Why would you leave him there? How will they cope when he starts wanting to move around the nursery independently?

I would look for a local childminder who has children of different ages to care for and can offer a more family-like experience, which sounds as if it would suit your son better.

That will always be the case in group childcare. I'm a childminder and whilst I can carry a baby a lot because I have older more independent ones too, it's not something I can do all day. You need to hire a nanny if thats his need and your expectation.

Yes I agree about a group, my older son settled in nursery after a month so I suppose I’m comparing it to that. I don’t expect him to be held all day, just to be comforted if he is struggling with settling

Thank you for your replies everyone, maybe I just need to give it more time and then make a decision. I’m a worrier and tend to jump the gun so I appreciate all your perspectives

While I agree that he may just need longer to settle in, for me it is a bit of a red flag that she can’t tell you what his maps were because too many babies. That would really concern me.

I knew my DD would never settle there, and I loved her as soon as I could. Best decision I ever made. Trust your gut.

Yes that did worry me, coupled with saying there were too many babies to keep track of.