I feel lost with bonding

[Ejs890011]

Hi
I have a 7 month old baby boy. I feel very lost on how to bond with him and keep him entertained all day. I feel so guilty if I leave him to entertain himself for 10 mins. He does get very whiny if he isn’t paid attention to.
he has to be held every 10-20mins or he cries even if I am paying attention to him when he is in his chair.
I don’t know what to do I feel so guilty I am not giving him enough entertainment

Hi,

I could have written this. I don't have any useful advice but just sending solidarity.

My little one is almost nine months. I hated the drudge of looking after him for about the first seven months, it got rapidly better in the last six weeks, he's rapidly developing a personality and that seems to have helped.

Some days I'd wake up and think " oh god, do I have to look after you AGAIN?!?!"

I'm well supported and didn't have any postpartum depression, felt very happy within myself but god it was BORING sometimes and the whining does my head in.

I suspect this is how almost everyone feels but just won't admit. For me there was no overwhelming rush of love, just a slow growth of togetherness.

I mean this very gently, and I offer it in the hope that you get some peace.

At 7 months I doubt he is whining because he isn’t getting attention. I’d bet my house he is whining because he wants more time close to, ie touching, you.

I would get a sling. I bet he will sleep in it happily, hang out and see the shop/kitchen/garden/washing machine with you in it happily.

Try going back to basics for a bit - contact in the sling when you’re out/getting stuff done and contact napping in the afternoon ❤️

I found that a really difficult age, lots of input required but not much back. All parents have an age they dont love (even if they never admit it). I used to go for lots of walks just to pass the time without feeling guilty about 100% of my attention being on them. Its just a season, it will pass as quickly as it came.

This is excellent advice OP.

Thank you for advice. I am going to a sling/ carrier workshop next week as my carrier doesn’t work well I don’t know what I am doing wrong. But it would make my life easier if he could be in one

That age can definitely be difficult as they aren't really keeping you company. At 7 months I used to take my son out most days. For walks, to cafes, restaurants, sensory rooms, classes, swimming, anything. It's all entertainment as it's new things to look at! Even now I like to go out most mornings with my son (he's 3 now) as the day doesn't feel so long after that!

I was just out and about loads at that age.

I would say persevere with some independent play i.e. if he is happy playing or looking at something, even for just 30 seconds, do not intervene! If he's whining, fine. But as long as he's happy, leave him to it. Even positive intervention interrupts the independent play (like saying good job! or whatever)

The stretches will get longer and longer. At 18 months my toddler is brilliant at playing by himself (thank god!). Obviously a lot of is personality but you can encourage this.