I previously posted in AIBU but I didn't get any responses
I've previously posted and now I feel like I'm in a living hell I'm not sure what to do for the best
My ex is useless
He's currently with a woman with 4 children, he cheated and a few months later he moved into her home with her children.
He's been unreliable all through 2025 the let downs and empty promises were every week, he also doesn't pay for my DD I have a battle with CMS at the moment but I don't see things improving financially for some time
My DD is 8 and had ADHD and recently had a pre diagnosis of ASD, shes amazing in every single way
My issue is in December and somewhat November my ex was very "present" in her life, I made the awful mistake of giving him a chance even though he hadn't been consistent throughout the year and had deeply hurt her
I found out just before Christmas eve the reason he was around so much was because his relationship wasn't going so well, he had the nerve to "cry" to me about how he found her 4 children difficult and life was hard and they were constantly arguing, he told me he "wished her children didn't exist" and was considering moving out.
My DD saw him as planned on Christmas eve for 2 hours before he went back to his gf. He never called Christmas day, no contact whatsoever. My DD did ask if daddy was going to call. This sounds silly but I was scared to do so as he regularly ignores my call. I told her I'm sure he would call. He didn't.
He was due to have her overnight at his mum's house on the 28th (there's no room at his gf house) he didn't go, my DD stayed at her nans on her own (which isn't a problem) and he was due to bring her home to me on the 29th December. His mum called me at 3.30 on the 29th to say he wasn't at her home yet, he told me that he would collect at 12. He collected at 3.50 with his gf and brought her home and left her at my parents (I was stuck in traffic) at 5.10 with the one present he bought her for Christmas unopened. My DD was in tears
He had no contact from that point on the 29th until 6th February, no calls no contact about visits during this time my DD had become incredibly clingy to me, so much so therapy was recommended by school to help her cope and express her emotions. She was also saying to people "I haven't got a dad/who will be my new daddy
I had a phone call on the 6th February from my ex, saying he wants his daughter every Saturday. I told him that wasn't going to work considering he disappeared for 2 months asked why he hasn't been in contact he said his phone was broken and that's why it was switched off (it was switched off when I called a few times) and he didn't want to contact as he wanted his gf and children with him when seeing his DD
I told him this was the final chance and to start off small and build a relationship with her and be consistent. Since the 6th Feb (that phone call) the following has happened
Wednesday 11th Feb - came to see DD for an hour, promised her he would come on Friday 13th then let her down
DD was taken to hospital on Sunday 15th Feb was a bacterial infection, I notified by text at 11.00am when on way to hospital, DD was really unwell had blood tests, x-ray on hip and cannula and an overnight stay, I called 3 times when I realised how serious it was, she was hysterical and wanted us both. He replied to my 11.00am text and knew she was in hospital, but then said he "put his phone on silent" and that's why he never answered the calls.
He finally got to the hospital at 6.10pm
He called twice during half term week as she was recovering - I asked him if he could take 1 day off of work to help as she was due to go to holiday club and obviously couldn't go, and I was working - he told me "no" and pay for someone to look after her. My family helped me in the end and my work were very understanding (I started a new job in January)
He told me on Saturday (just gone) that he will collect our DD from after school club Tuesdays and Thursdays, I text him this morning saying "school know you are collecting" I had reply until 2.20 this afternoon saying "I cant get her now"
No reason why - just a no.
I never told my DD that dad was collecting but I just don't feel like I can do this for the next year let alone years.
I offered him mediation several times, he refused everytime.
He won't change
I just want people's opinions now AIBU for cutting him off completely - he won't take me to court, so if I do this he will just leave it alone but I don't want my DD to blame me