Apologies for the dramatic title of my post and not sure what I am hoping to achieve but really just need some advice and reassurance and not sure where to turn.
My husband and I have a 2 year old daughter who up until recently has been been such a joy to be around. Her first year was hard as she wasn't a great sleeper and although we had planned to have children at some point she was unexpected and I had taken the morning after pill after unprotected sex so getting pregnant at that point was a bit of a shock. None the less we got on with it and although my husband found it a lot harder than me and there were some very difficult points we got through the first year and came out the other side.
Last year ages 1 -2 she has slept pretty well and has been a really sweet happy joyful child. She has eaten literally anything which I think made me feel really proud and never really cried at all. I knew that I shouldn't rest my laurels on this and that it wasn't anything that we were doing but just her age etc but I guess deep down I felt really proud of her that she was just so lovely and easy.
Anyway fast forward turning 2 and its been a total nightmare of constant tantrums and refusing food. I am just about managing but my husband can't cope with it at all and gets really frustrated with her. I know it's all normal for her age but it's making us both so miserable. My husband has a very full on job and I increased my working days from 3 to 4 in September last year and have a big work deadline coming up - I reckon she senses something is up. She was also previously happy to put to bed and spend time with either of us but the past few weeks is in a mummy only phase.
My husband isn't coping at all and gets really miserable and snappy when my daughter is like this. It keeps on making me think of the fact that I got pregnant about 2 years sooner than we had planned to have a child and that he isn't really read for family life. I know that he just needs to suck it up and get on with life having a toddler but I don't know if there is a way we can both manage to carry on without this change in my daughters behaviour making us totally miserable. Is there some books we can read about toddlers which will help - I did read positive discipline which was quite useful.
The constant arguing between myself and my husband and his low mood is making me think god I don't know how to get through this which I know sounds dramatic but it does seem possible these tantrums etc might continue for another few years.