Would you stop inviting a child to your house if they broke toys?

[confusedbadmama]

Good evening,

Would you stop inviting a child to your house for play dates if they purposely broke toys in the playroom? Even if they are only 5 years old and family (third cousins to your kids)?

thank you

Yes, absolutely.

Yes. Some kids are just like this.

When I was a kid and we had certain friends round, mum would hide certain toys so that they didn't get broken.

I did the same when I babysat a close friend's kids. They didn't look after their own things and their parents let them jump all over the furniture at home. There was zero respect from either child so particularly precious toys were put away.

My own kids looked after their belongings so well that they looked practically new when we sold them on.

Yep I had this, never a sorry or replacement even broke the window on my shed.Done meet ups elsewhere after about the 5th time

Thank you everyone for your replies. I was wondering if I was being unreasonable.

We are not well off and I saved up and sold things on Vinted for months to afford some big toys for my kids (a specific supermarket from Melissa and Doug that my kids wanted, toy kitchen, and stuff like that). My kids’ cousins came over a couple times and both times the 5 year old broke those toys! No apologies from the parents.

Send them the list of toys their child deliberately broke and the cost and your bank details

I wouldn’t stop them coming entirely, but I’d only have them when they could be properly supervised.

If it's family and banning then would cause WW3, I'd put the good toys away somewhere before they arrived.

If the cousin asked where the kitchen was, I'd just say 'don't you remember? (Child) broke it last time you came' and let her think that the damage was terminal.

Yes, of course. I wouldn’t want my child being friends with a child like that anyway, don’t wouldn’t be a friendship I was encouraging.

But they need to replace them. I would have ordered you a new one before I left. Family or not, I wouldn’t be having any of them back.

Definitely stop having them over. What’s wrong with the parents that they don’t intervene or apologise? The child is 5 ffs, not a toddler. And I don’t let my toddler trash other people’s things.

Yes.

As its family, I would possibly arrange to meet in a soft play or similar setting.

We had one visiting kid who stole the toys - he didn’t grow up into a nice adult either

We used to box up toys and put them away from one family member.
The kids were allowed to chose what they wanted out, knowing the risks.
We tried to go out as much as possible - e.g. walk through woods, go to park so there was less time for destruction at home.
But that posed other risks as family would invariably have incorrect footwear and clothing and no change of clothes. Would then return muddy and spread mud through the house.....
Good job I loved them!!

I would go more on the response from the parents tbh.
I remember a couple of times at events/playdates/days out with friends when my kids were little. I was having a great time, didn't want to leave, but my kid was badly behaved, so they had to be taken home. Bad behaviour cannot be ignored or minimised imo. So, yeah, it depends what the parents did and how they handled it as to whether they would be invited back.

Reading all these responses, it's the parents who have behaved badly, not the kid. So it's the parents I wouldn't be having back.

I would replace the broken toys if my child did that

I love your username by the way. Must have read that series ten times at least as a child.

No I would make sure they wemt able to break toys or any thing else.

Depends if it’s deliberate or not to be honest. Groups of children often do get boisterous and silly and I’d probably move anything special,

I was once at a party at someone’s home where the very irate host sent out a terse message the next day with photos of broken toys. I did kind of think that’s what happens when several overexcited children are let loose in a playroom.

Absolutely as it's blatant disrespect. One off occurrence and an accident? Fine. Consistent destructive behaviour? Not happening.

Time to go to theirs for a play

Have you ever been invited to theirs? I wouldn’t have had them over a ‘couple of times’ if they had been breaking things on the first time!

I had some kids over when my son was very small. The visiting boy broke a new and special toy that he’d begged my son to let him play with, then later shut my son out of the front door and wouldn’t let him back in, despite his distress.

The mum was all ‘tee hee, what are they like - you probably won’t invite us back now!’ She was right. I never asked them back. Rude twats.

It's a no from me

If they were being broken on purpose I would tell them they have to go home and call their parents to collect them. And I wouldn't invite them back.

Yes, would arrange to meet at soft play or outdoors instead. If the parents want to know why, tell them in a matter of fact way that their kids deliberately break your children’s toys when they’re in your house.