HOW CAN I CO-PARENT WITH A NARCISSIST

[PunnyOliveMentor]

Our two children together are 5 and 6 and the thought of having to have him a part of my life for the next many years fills me with anxiety.

Ive got a case open with the police for coercive control and thats been dragging on for ages without any updates. First update in months was yesterday letting me know they are sending to CPS. Now we have to wait to hear back from them which will be months again!

There is a social worker involved who was supposed to be doing a post separation risk assessment but I never heard back.

We have been separated for years. I got pregnant with my youngest and we weren't even together then.

I am in a happy and loving relationship with a good man who I share a little boy with and we have a little girl on the way. My ex is in a relationship and they live together so I dont understand why he still has to be so bitter.

I am at my wits end. It is affecting my mental health!

I was supposed to have our kids today but I have been throwing up all night so I asked if I can get them on saturday. But his reaction was if I dont get them today I cant have them at all this weekend.

Get your dc... Or he will ime claim you can't cope and go for full custody....
You need to take care of you. Seek help for your mh ASAP.

Considering the situation between you I wouldn’t have asked him to keep the kids longer, it’s not his problem that you are pregnant again, it should have any bearing on your custody agreement. You need to keep contact to an absolute minimum and don’t ask him for help, maybe try and use a coparenting app rather than actually talking

I wasn't throwing up due to being pregnant, there has been a stomach bug spreading like wildfire in our family at the minute.

And this is the custody agreement he has decided on, we have a child arrangement order in place and he didn't stick to it so now im waiting to go back to court.

You need to stick to the arrangement too though. You’d still be infectious tomorrow anyway so his statement about keeping them for the weekend probably makes sense.

Well yes I dont really want to pass it on to the kids cause it is not fun at all.
In terms of sticking to agreements, I have always done everything that has been asked. He accused my partner of assaulting our child and me of neglect. I wasn't allowed to see my kids unsupervised whilst they investigated. I was never charged and it got dropped but it was from then that all this has started.

Social services have no concerns with me or partner, their only involved still due to the behaviour of my ex towards me.

Whilst the police investigated he let me see my kids twice in 2 months, he allowed me 2 phone calls a week which he didnt always stick to. He made my life absolute hell.

When he first found out I was in a relationship he refused to bring my son home for 4 days. Despite how hard he has made my life I have always done what has been asked of me.

Social services, school and health visitor are all backing me with the coercive control because they are all fully aware of his behaviour. Hes mentally, and physically abused me and he's still getting away with the abuse.

I just want to live my life with my family without him making everything difficult.

Look is there anyone who can get the kids?
If not just get antibacterial wipes and get up there and get back
I'd get them picked up leave them with your new DH/ DP and quarantine.

But pick them up

So have you picked the kids up then?

No favours, no extra conversation, stick to your agreement rigorously and have as little to do with him as possible. Just go and get the kids, even if unwell, just clean thoroughly and ask your dp to help, don’t give the ex an excuse to start dicking around.

Ive told him im going to get them. My partner cant have them as they are still investigating the accusations against him. But im going to get them