Son wanting to dress as girl for World Book Day

[mercutio84]

Hi in bit of a dilemma.
Have got 7 year old son. He loves wearing costumes of disney princesses, Dorothy from Wizard of Oz, wants to be Mary Poppins, and he absolutely loves all that. At home he wears what he wants and he loves swooshing his dresses and play acting and we love to see him relaxed and feeling that joy. He’s not indicated he thinks he’s a female in any way but he gravitates towards girls at school and I think gets intimidated by some of the boys (he’s also very short bless him).

World Book Day coming up and we’re a bit worried about it. Same thing happened at halloween - he wants to go as female character eg Wednesday Addams. For World Book Day he wants to go as Dorothy, or Alice, or the Queen of Hearts.

Now, I’d love to see him as the Queen of hearts and he would love it. But I’m just so worried about other children saying things, as it may seem like a bit of a statement. Son can be very sensitive especially to rejection and I am so torn. I really want him to feel comfortable and excited and true to himself but so scared that if other kids make fun of him he’ll feel awful and want to take costume off/then question himself and lose that excitement that I can see he feels.

Does anyone have any experience of this?

David Williams is a prick 😬. Op, hope you get some useful suggestions from this thread.

Eh? Whatever your views on dressing up, surely you're not suggesting that a traditional kilt made for a man is just the same as a taffeta princess gown, are you?!

My DNephew (7) has been picked to play Mrs Trunchbull at his stagecoach play. He’s very boyish!

Depends on the child, unfortunately. The ‘popular’ boy would get away with it as a laugh.

It just means owning it, or a fashion, with style.

My 9 yr old DS is wearing a “girly” female character outfit for world book day. Personally, I wouldn’t have had the courage but he doesn’t care, is adamant he’s sticking to his choice so, good luck to him!
I’m fine with it in principle but in reality, kids can be very cruel and I do worry.

People still largely tend to dress as a character of their own sex, though. Even when dressing as an animal, it would still be implicit that they were an animal of their own sex.

The profession of acting is dressing up and pretending to be a character, but apart from a few productions where they go out of their way to be different, the vast, vast majority of productions will automatically cast an actor/actress whose sex matches that of the character. Even in the big-screen Narnia production, Mrs Beaver was voiced by Dawn French, and Mr Beaver was voiced by Ray Winstone; they didn't do it the other way around.

My son wore a princess dress aged about 8 or 9. He had no bother at the time or since. It was random for him. He just liked the idea. He hasn't worn a dress since.

What about a compromise like The Boy In A Dress?

My son went to school wearing a skirt and was ridiculed. I felt awful for not preparing him but I felt that preparing him would have been convincing him not to do it. With his permission I spoke to a teacher and they spoke to the year group, specifically about their treatment of him, and they did an assembly on accepting others differences. Kids do not know until they’re taught and whilst it was a painful for him at the time it was an important lesson for them all to learn. Thankfully my son is resilient and has continued to wear a skirt when he wants to. No one has said a negative word since. He’s got better at discerning when someone is just curious and asking questions and when someone is being unkind. I admire his resilience and I’m glad I didn’t talk him out of it. I would explain a clear way of dealing with unkind comments. Talk to you, talk to a teacher. Try not to let him pick up on your fear and shame. It is hard

Should is the all important word there...

Find someone else who wears a swishy cape - Merlin (has he watched The Sword In the Stone Disney? Great book too)

Or watch and read Percy Jackson (my ds7 loves it) and dress him for battle in a little Greek or Roman battle dress!

In fairness, at age 10 my dd dressed for World book day as a male one-eared rabbit with a cardboard dagger (Podkin series - brilliant books).

Previous year she was the prissy girl from Charlie and the Choc factory in a fake fur jacket and plastic pearls

So I do think world book day allows for madness and also some gender exceptions.

If he’s going to be a girl I think something like Queen of Hearts is quite cool, whereas Dorothy is a bit “eek”.

Has he actually read Alice in Wonderland? I only ever let my dc dress as someone from a book they have read. Not just fave film.

My daughter always goes as a “boy”, she isn’t interested in anything with a dress. She is always Harry Potter not Hermione, Robin Hood not Marian etc.
At her school boys in dresses would not be remarked upon but it is a very small school that encourages kids to be how they are. It is probably very school dependent but I would always let them wear what they like.

If he has the strong confidence in himself to deal with people teasing him then I would consider it but if he can't hold his own then no he shouldn't.
You as an adult can understand the knock on effects, he can't so you have to make the decision.
As the secondary school teacher said he will be remembered as the boy who dresses up in girls clothes. That's fine when you are 7 but when your 12 he could be absolutely modified and want to know why you let him do that.

My son was very 'girly' when he was younger, he's 11 now and starting to change and care more about how he comes across,I would definitely have some explaining to do to the 11 year old if I had sent him to school in a dress as a 7 year old.

As for the people say he should be making a stand/going against society's norms etc, that's all well and good you saying that but we are talking about a little 7 year old boy, it could really affect him growing up if people are really cruel about it, he's not there to be used as a pioneer!

In the late 80s a year 6 boy in my school wore a dress on a dressing up day. Everyone thought it was fun. A few years later a boy dressed as Madonna (conical boobs era) and mimed to a song for an end of year 6 show. It went down a storm - lots of laughter and cheering but with him not at him.

This is more my experience of primary school. About 10 years or so ago we had a Henry VIII assembly with Henry played by a girl and 3 of his Queens played by boys. Another boy did a regular song/drag act that they all loved and often requested him to repeat. The kids were a lot kinder and less judgemental than many adults and treated it all as the norm.

I'd be more concerned about the teachers than the other kids. The way things are going he'll probably come home with a pack of puberty blockers and a gender recognition certificate.

I was one of the teachers in the examples I gave. I don't think that kind of thing is as common as you think if it even happens at all. (teachers don't have access to those things or any interest in getting them in my experience).

David Walliams is an obnoxious sex pest - not to mention a terrible writer.

I straw polled DS1 (10) and DS2 (7), who were horrified at the thought, and also by a scenario where it was a male character wearing a dress such as in the DW book.
(Unprompted, DS2 said he would keep it as an 'inside thought' and DS1 agreed he wouldn't say anything but that it would basically be social death)

My son went as ‘the boy in the dress” David wallisms.