90 mins of intense, inconsolable crying… Is this normal for 12 year old?

[winkled]

90 mins of intense, inconsolable crying…
Is this normal for 12 year old?

My daughter has recently started yr7 and her childhood best friend unfortunately goes to another high school to her. We could send me daughter there as we weren’t in catchment.

The last couple of times she’s seen her for a playdate she’s been absolutely it bits, crying so intensely and begging us to send her to this school (we can’t)

Last night, she sobbed gut wrenching cries (similar to grief) for 90 minutes.
We sat wit her on and off and tried to comfort her but mostly she just wanted to be alone… she’s angry too. 😔 she doesn’t like her new school but doesn’t want to change and is also working on making new friends. It’s not ‘that bad’ there but could be better !

I’m so worried about her. Is this normal? Is this hormones? Will this pass?

No it's not normal, she sounds desperately sad ☹️

Was their friendship very intense at primary? Has she made any friends at her new school?

When DD has friendship issues at school we encouraged a lot of non-school friendships, e.g scouts, gymnastics and neighbourhood friends.

It took some of the intensity out of the school relationships, she could spend time with people who were not involved in the drama.

Honestly, 90 minutes is a long time, but otherwise yes it's normal. Everybody is knackered at February half term and especially having started a new school, being away from friends, work stepping up, everything changing, and, yes, hormones. Welcome to having a teenage daughter frankly.

I would gently continue to ask about school though because 90 mins is a long time. It's she an emotional person generally?

Crying lots, normal in puberty. 90 minutes is quite intense though but I remember crying for that long when my mum wouldn't let me shave my legs. Keep checking that there isn't a bigger issue with the school which is actually the problem. Just keep making sure they have plenty of opportunities to meet up. Do they live close to each other so they can meet after school?

I disagree with having them meet up as much as possible, instead I'd work on encouraging the new friendships she is making at school as much as possible. Seeing the old friend just keeps reminding her what she is missing and making her want to go to the other school. If the old friend moves on and dd is still reliant on her that will be even harder. Focus on meeting up with new friends I think.

Could also be period-related (which is annoying and I don't have to tell you not to suggest it . But possible.)

Hi OP, I replied on your other thread - did you mean to post twice?