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Parenting

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Stressed and petty

12 replies

choccospreadbutties · 16/02/2026 17:28

Hello

so me and my ex split about 3/4 years ago, I was MISERABLE. This has no point in the story just more so people know I didn’t just leave for fun etc. so we have a daughter who is 6 next month, she is challenging, she is strong willed, angry, wants her own way, very full of attitude, it’s giving teenage vibes. Anyway I can’t ask her dad for any help because he makes me feel like shit “you have no control” “she never does this for me” etc, he has her 5 days a month n says that’s good enough. Anyway, I am exhausted, I work, I do every school run, appt, meeting, party, out of school clubs, sick days etc whilst he does fuck all. So anyway I’ve found out he’s been having secret meetings at her school right and honestly like wtf why????? He doesn’t do anything he does the absolute bare minimum he can get away with and acts like he’s father of the year. Like I just have so much anger around his existence because I’m sick of it I’d rather he fucked off and wasn’t involved at all because I’m sick of him making me out to be the bad mum when he does nothing except give me pure attitude n snarky comments which all I wanna do is smash his head in my door when he turns up. His wife is a wanker for enabling this and then popping out 2 kids with him when he does next to nothing for the child he already had, I am so stressed I am sick of it

OP posts:
choccospreadbutties · 16/02/2026 17:30

Her behaviour, her home life etc

OP posts:
Eightdayz · 16/02/2026 17:31

Im sure your daughter is picking up on this anger. You said it yourself.

He's looking for reactions to wind you up.

Rise above it.

choccospreadbutties · 16/02/2026 17:31

i don’t think it’s about me I think it’s more how she is at home but how is he supposed to know when he barely sees her she goes his n she’s left with other people

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choccospreadbutties · 16/02/2026 17:32

Eightdayz · 16/02/2026 17:31

Im sure your daughter is picking up on this anger. You said it yourself.

He's looking for reactions to wind you up.

Rise above it.

I dont say anything around her I just wait till she’s in bed to be annoyed lol

OP posts:
goz · 16/02/2026 17:33

Are they “secret” though? If you have a meeting with the school are you telling him in advance?

As her father he’s allowed to speak to the school. It sounds like you’ve already decided he can’t do anything, he sees her 5 days so he shouldn’t see her at all, he can’t talk to the school because he does nothing etc.

choccospreadbutties · 16/02/2026 17:35

goz · 16/02/2026 17:33

Are they “secret” though? If you have a meeting with the school are you telling him in advance?

As her father he’s allowed to speak to the school. It sounds like you’ve already decided he can’t do anything, he sees her 5 days so he shouldn’t see her at all, he can’t talk to the school because he does nothing etc.

well they don’t tell me? And they usually ring me before pick up to see if I can go in and like hell am I ruining my own day having to text him. Yeah if he was involved it wouldn’t be a problem but he sees her 5 days a month and sometimes he isn’t even there so what does he even know

OP posts:
Eightdayz · 16/02/2026 17:37

choccospreadbutties · 16/02/2026 17:32

I dont say anything around her I just wait till she’s in bed to be annoyed lol

She's picking up on it.

You said yourself She's angry. Where's that coming from then?

choccospreadbutties · 16/02/2026 17:38

Eightdayz · 16/02/2026 17:37

She's picking up on it.

You said yourself She's angry. Where's that coming from then?

Not getting her own way etc speech delay

OP posts:
goz · 16/02/2026 17:43

choccospreadbutties · 16/02/2026 17:35

well they don’t tell me? And they usually ring me before pick up to see if I can go in and like hell am I ruining my own day having to text him. Yeah if he was involved it wouldn’t be a problem but he sees her 5 days a month and sometimes he isn’t even there so what does he even know

Why would they? They aren’t going to call him and give him a rundown of a meeting you had with the school either.
5 days isn’t exactly no time, it’s slightly more than an ever other weekend agreement which is very common.

disturbia · 16/02/2026 17:44

I am a single mum and it is a hard life but he has half parental responsibility if on the birth certificate so can attend school meetings etc.

choccospreadbutties · 16/02/2026 18:16

disturbia · 16/02/2026 17:44

I am a single mum and it is a hard life but he has half parental responsibility if on the birth certificate so can attend school meetings etc.

Honestly it’s so ridiculous that he does so little and goes on like he’s dad of the year but the only thing he does is have her at his house and has other people look after her so he isn’t even doing anything, it rages me lmao my dad used to drive over the snake pass in the snow when it was shut to see me and her dad lives down the road and if there’s snow on the pavement he describes it as treacherous and not able to be walked on etc

OP posts:
disturbia · 16/02/2026 20:47

It is very annoying I agree. Your daughter will look back when she is older and realise everything you have done for her.

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