What to do on Mothers Day when you’ve gone no-contact?

[rootsandwings89]

I have recently gone no contact with my mum, I’m happy and enjoying a much more peaceful life. We agreed she could see my dc whenever she wants but she hasn’t asked to see them since Christmas.

Its just dawned on me that Mother’s Day will be the first since we’ve stopped speaking. I’m not spiteful and hate the idea of her being upset because she hasn’t got a card/gift, but I also don’t want to open up lines of communication again.

if you have gone no contact how did you navigate that first Mother’s Day?gran

You don't do anything.

The fact thst you're wondering makes me think that actually you would like a relationship and maybe you need to work n that like an adult rather than cutting off contact altogether

There’s nothing you can do, if you do anything surely it will give her false hope and be cruel? A card is like saying sorry we didn’t work out (just my opinion though, sorry this happened)

If you are thinking of her, send a card. that does not have to open up communication, it's simply honest and honourable and I am sure she will appreciate it. You will feel you have done the right thing.

I’m very sad that it ended up this way but after years and years of trying I have accepted that we just can’t have a relationship with her. So it’s not that I haven’t worked on it like an adult, i just don’t want to upset her even though we’re not speaking.

You don't do anything as it would send mixed signals which is more hurtful than not saying anything at all.

You do nothing, you don’t have a relationship with her anymore. I go between no contact and low contact with mine and I don’t buy for her because she’s not much of a mother to me and that isn’t cause for celebrating her role in my life. Mine also still has access to my kids, but not very often by her own choice

I'm NC with my father and on Father's Day I feel a huge relief and concentrate on making sure DH has a good day and help the kids treat him and I sign the card DH sends to FIL.

I have a nice day with my dc. 🤷🏻‍♀️

We are properly NC though. She is not allowed any contact with my dc. My youngest (now 8) doesn’t even know she exists. She doesn’t know where we live.

To be fair, Mother’s Day kicked off the end of our relationship anyway. Once years ago, her partner sent me an angry email to say my Mother’s Day gift to her wasn’t good enough and gave me his credit card details so I could buy her a real gift next time. 🙄 It was in the middle of COVID lockdown and she was in the middle of chemo. We were all wiping down our shopping back then. I didn’t send her a gift in the post because I was terrified of killing her because she was immunocompromised. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It wasn’t what ended the relationship, but it led me to do some digging into her partner’s background and I discovered his criminal past and several other worrying things and ultimately, that did lead to the end of our relationship.

For me, it’s lovely day as a family with my children. I simply avoid checking my email because I tend to get an email from her for the occasion telling me what a terrible person I am. 🙄 So I ignore my inbox for several days either side until I have energy to go in and delete whatever abuse she has sent me.

You don't "do" anything, OP, because it's just a normal day. So you carry on just the same as the Sunday before, or the Sunday after. Just forget all about Mother's Day - it's irrelevant.

what age is dc? might they want to send a home made card? if not ignore the day.