Advice on sleep

[SendHelpandSnacks]

I don't want to call it sleep training, as my son is a good sleeper once he's asleep, but he's 2 next month and he's getting quite smart. DH and I do bedtime routine together and then DH has always rocked him, put him down and patted him to sleep. He's now recently started stalling bedtime and when DH puts him down, he stays awake and waits for him to leave because he knows once DH leaves, he cries for a bit and then I'll then go up myself to settle him down. Which is what he wants in the first place. He's got us figured out 😂
So DH wants to insist on sticking with putting him down, but he'll leave the room if he sees that he's not going to sleep after a while.
So the question is, what next?
We've tried the Ferber method in the past but going back in the room almost makes it worse... When we first leave, he stays laying down and cries, if we go back in, he gets more hysterical and stands up!
Tonight we left him, as he was moaning and calling for me but didn't seem too distressed. It took him a good 25mins to finally get to sleep. I hate the idea of leaving him to cry but I also feel like going back in and leaving again makes him more upset. So I'm at a complete loss as to what to do... I wish he could understand that he's safe and we're here but it's time for sleep. I've tried telling him all this stuff when we were doing the Ferber method, but he gets more upset as he knows I'm about to leave the room...
Does anyone have any similar experience?
Or any advice on techniques that worked for you? Especially for a child around the age of 2.
Thank you very much 🙏🏼

He's 2 months or 2 years? I would think at 2 years he full well understands if he's quite smart. Is he in a cot or freely able to move in and out of bed? If the latter i really wouldn't worry. He's just pushing boundaries. The main thing i did was make sure they got as much exercise and sunlight as poss during the day so they'll be tired by night. And drop naps.

I would also have only 1 parent as 2 gives them too much attention and makes them want to do fun things.

He's 2 years old next month and he's still in a cot. That's a good point about one person doing the bedtime routine... We've always done it all together as a way of all spending time with him before bedtime. But maybe that could be something to try... Thank you

At almost 2 years I’d just lock down the bedtime routine to be hyper efficient- 1 parent (alternate nights so you both get your turn), 1 story, quick cuddle/song or whatever it is you like to do and then leave. If he fusses have your set intervals to pop back but make those low fuss and boring. The boundaries will mean he knows exactly what to expect and that the stalling tactics don’t work. It’ll also mean when one of you is out/just wants a night other the other is confident they can do bedtime solo. And it sets in place a structure you’ll be glad of when he eventually moves to a bed- hopefully he won’t escape until closer to 3 but you never know!