Getting through bedtime when you’re in a vile mood

[Yukono]

I‘ve had a shocker of a day. Also TotM. DH also in a mood and took it out on me before he went out (planned, he didn’t walk out). Kids are being awful to each other and I‘m reaching breaking point. They are 9 and 6.

They‘ve had dinner and are watching TV so I‘ve got a minute to myself.

Any tips for getting through bedtime without losing it? It’s not their fault I‘ve had a shit day. My nerves are completely shot and I just want to crawl into a hole.

A few sips of wine.

Before bedtime starts: tell them you've had a bad day, are feeling a bit rubbish, and it would really helpful if they could get ready for bed nicely without you pestering. Kids are capable of being kind to their mother, give them the opportunity. Hope tomorrow is a better day ❤️

Do a meditation and calm yourself down. It's not their fault so don't take it out on them.
Presumably you can keep your cool at work etc. - how do you do that? Use the same techniques.

Ah, it’s really hard. I had a really bad cold / slash hangover (this is why I rarely drink) DS chose that night to keep bouncing back out of bed. Meltdowns for both of us… Not proud!

I agree with @cornbunting , although it doesnt always work with my two, and i have been known to "reiterate" with a raised voice.

Break a few of your normal bedtime rules. Let them watch telly in their PJs. Give them a sweet to take upstairs. The first two responses to your post nail it really.

Just taking time out like you are is a huge benefit.
Spend 10 minutes writing down all the stuff that’s amazing about your life and your kids

and I know it’s macabre but imagine if something awful happened tomorrow to you or them and you would give anything to be sat where you are right now; about to put them to bed with love and care

Do this. All sit down for a hot chocolate (use it as bribery to get pj's onnif you like.)

Thanks all. Gah I‘m crying now. I‘ll have a chat with them and hope they take it on board. I don’t want them to feel like it’s on them to cheer me up. But I would definitely appreciate them being gentle with me this evening. They are lovely kids and don’t deserve this

Lots of deep breaths beforehand and someone advised me to imagine you’re being filmed. What would you want to watch back and how would you feel afterwards

Well you won’t believe this. Youngest came to me and said she wanted to go to bed. So we went upstairs and I asked why. She said she wanted to get ready for bed without me asking her to!

Eldest followed shortly after. They got ready really quickly with no drama. We had nice cuddles and stories and now they are both in bed (we‘re an hour ahead).

I think I need to buy a lottery ticket!

Give them a sweet to take upstairs.

Yea, if you want to spend thousands on their dentist fees in future.....

Stupid response.

Sorry OP you're going through this. As a previous poster says, Wine helps, when back downstairs and settled in front of the telly... (or Netflix).

Ah thats lovemy @Yukono. I hope you can have some time to yourself tonight.

Bedtime should be a breeze with those ages. Not like having a baby and a toddler which is far far harder.

How much bedtime do you need to ‘do’ at 6 and 9?!