Emotional regulation in 5 year old

[saltymama99]

My daughter, 5 (6 next month), struggles with being told no, being moved out of the way of hurting herself (like in dance the teacher moved her mat away from a radiator), she in school she doesnt like being told what to do, she is delayed in speech but she is so much better now and can speak in sentences etc and she knows how she is feeling, she just doesn’t have any emotional regulation skills, if it’s not going her way it’s the end of the world and she will act like if. She’s got a good set of friends at school, she’s popular, she’s doing well in her school work, she loves dancing and music, she enjoys a lot of role play stuff and she shows understanding of things like she has a kitchen at home and she enjoys making food for people and drinks and she knows how like restaurants work so she takes our orders etc and stuff, she has a little doctor station as well and she knows how that works and she treats all her babies for their random illnesses. I don’t think there’s any underlying issues to cause the emotional regulation I think it is just because of her speech delay but it’s stopping her from going 10 minutes without a kick off, how do I help her with this because it’s a shame she’s a really nice little girl but I’m worried that no one wants to spend time with her because of it (family don’t see her)

Learning to cope with being displeased is harder at 6 than 3. That’s what tantrums are, a learning curve to the emotions. Losing at a game, having grown out of a favourite t-shirt and so on.
Maybe she didn’t get the chance to learn as a toddler, sometimes we are protective and giving in to requests comes naturally.
If she likes role play and pretend play, use that . Create situations in which something goes wrong (ice-cream sold out at restaurant, ….).
Then also lead by example. You are cooking and pretend to have forgotten an ingredient or broken a jar.

You don’t mention screens but I would strongly suggest the tv is broken for a week , just unplug it and phones/ipad, …don’t work properly. Just block her favourite websites on the settings and delete the apps she uses. Screens increase poor regulations and self control. Test it for a week.

Yeah I’m trying to teach her that it’s okay for things to not go her way etc but she just thinks it should 😅!

I took her tablet off her because it caused issues like when we had to leave for school we leave her to get ready in her room in the morning and play at the same time because she does it in her own time and there’s no kick offs then and she doesn’t have it after school, she can watch it with tea because it gives me chance to do whatever else needs doing but I like her to play when she isn’t eating her tea

feels never ending and like these tantrums are gonna be forever but I do think I was too easy on her as a baby/toddler because for some reason her dads friends have it in their heads I’m a bad mum but I’m here all the time I do every pick up/drop off, drs appt, make sure she has clothes shoes that fit I take her dancing I take her sports n I just do everything so I think maybe I went OTT trying to prove that I’m not crap😅😅bites me in the ass now

That’s really odd that his friends think you’re a bad Mum. Are you together? Is he telling them you’re not a good Mum?

Just wanted to ask if she’s having any SaLT for her speech delay too @saltymama99?

Has Glue Ear been ruled out? This is usually done by havibg a hearing test.

And how does she score on this simple progress checker?

As she enjoys role play I would link it into that. Role play different situations and how we should react.

We haven’t been together since she was 1 nearly 2, he went around when we first split telling everyone I cheated n stuff but I left him because I wasn’t allowed to do simple things like buy new clothes and i went out ONCE for a couple of hours with a work friend who is a girl btw and he accused me of coming home drunk I had one sip of a cocktail n thought it was angin😭

Yes she’s been having speech therapy since she started primary school so over a year, before she started she had loads of words but no sentences and now she can speak in sentences

idk what glue is but she’s had a hearing test which she passed

Yeah maybe, I think sometimes it’s the lack of choice as well might make her feel a bit attacked so I’m gonna try and do some stuff with that, I don’t think it helps that one of her closest friends at school has a proper attitude towards teachers etc and she’s picked stuff up from them but what can u do about it lol

It’s really good that she’s having SaLT. The hearing test should have ruled out Glue Ear or low hearing.

Did you do the progress checker that I linked to?

Yeah it just says she needs some more help with speech and communication but she isn’t doing too badly it’s things like pronunciation and saying certain letters/sounds

I hadn’t seen your update about your Ex. I’m glad you had the sense to leave. It can’t have been easy

How does she do on the Social & Emotional Ages & Stages?