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Original poster

DS (12) getting quite emotional at bedtime after his mum remarried.

10 replies

BreakingDad77 · 09/02/2026 08:48

He wasn't like this before, and I have no reason to believe there are any issues as such. We share ds pretty much 50/50 and all get on. But the last couple days after the wedding they have been getting very upset at bedtime saying it's that they miss their mum.

Anyone had an experience like this that can help me try to understand?

OP posts:
DeluluTaylor · 09/02/2026 08:52

Have you remarried?
I can only comment as a stepchild that it’s a unique sadness when both of your parents move on, you sort of become a ghost. That one reminder of something that no longer exists.

alovelypatternedcarpet · 09/02/2026 08:58

In our house bedtime is when the emotions and fears come out...after having been kept in check all day.

Assuming that there is nothing amiss, I would imagine that seeing his mum all loved-up at the wedding your DS maybe feels that there has been a big shift, and may be feeling left out or wondering if he will be left out from now on? Or possibly, without realising it, he had somehow hoped that you and his mum would re-unite and her wedding makes it very definite that's not going to happen.

I think just keep reassuring him, and your ex-wife do the same, hopefully it will pass - it's lovely that you all get on so that will help a lot.

Seeline · 09/02/2026 08:59

Has Mum gone away on honeymoon?
Did DS have a role in the wedding?
Are there any step siblings?

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Original poster
BreakingDad77 · 09/02/2026 10:15

DeluluTaylor · 09/02/2026 08:52

Have you remarried?
I can only comment as a stepchild that it’s a unique sadness when both of your parents move on, you sort of become a ghost. That one reminder of something that no longer exists.

No I haven't remarried and tho have been seeing someone for long time I don't want to remarry.

OP posts:
Original poster
BreakingDad77 · 09/02/2026 10:17

Seeline · 09/02/2026 08:59

Has Mum gone away on honeymoon?
Did DS have a role in the wedding?
Are there any step siblings?

She will be going away this week for a couple of days, but we share time pretty much 50/50 live very near to each other, spending time away from her isn't alien. Yes he did have a role, and from the videos I have seen on face book was all very nice. No step siblings.

OP posts:
Original poster
BreakingDad77 · 09/02/2026 10:18

alovelypatternedcarpet · 09/02/2026 08:58

In our house bedtime is when the emotions and fears come out...after having been kept in check all day.

Assuming that there is nothing amiss, I would imagine that seeing his mum all loved-up at the wedding your DS maybe feels that there has been a big shift, and may be feeling left out or wondering if he will be left out from now on? Or possibly, without realising it, he had somehow hoped that you and his mum would re-unite and her wedding makes it very definite that's not going to happen.

I think just keep reassuring him, and your ex-wife do the same, hopefully it will pass - it's lovely that you all get on so that will help a lot.

Thanks I'll just keep the hugs coming.

OP posts:
propercoppercoffeepot · 09/02/2026 10:21

My oldest (10) goes to his dad's often - came back really funny and stone cold. Turns out they are having a baby and told him first. He was withdrawn and snappy for a good while. I ended up giving him a huge squish of a cuddle and told him whatever happens I will always fight his corner. Change doesnt sit well with children who cannot understand the world and emotions yet. Just keep loving him.

Beamur · 09/02/2026 10:22

Ah, I think this isn't unusual - he's having a bit of a wobble with seeing his Mum get married. Even if he gets on well with his SF this is a big change.
Bedtime is the time these things come out, just keep being a constant reassuring figure and listen to him, make time and help him through these feelings.

Original poster
BreakingDad77 · 09/02/2026 16:52

Thanks for the advice it's been helpful.

OP posts:
ACynicalDad · 09/02/2026 16:55

Can you and his mum take him out for dinner or something this week before they go away, just to recalibrate a bit, you'll know if that's appropriate for you two and for him, but something that positions him at the centre of both your worlds might help a bit.

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